Emotionally neglected men develop health problems: Dr Deshpande
| Date :23-Apr-2019 |
By Ajay Mardikar:
Men, particularly above 50 years of age, are most neglected person and get a feeling of loneliness in the family. The problems faced in this age are related to heart, sex and depression. Most of them can be corrected through counselling by a qualified person. The experience of Dr Sanjay Deshpande, noted sexologist, who has also studied psychology, get such persons in vast majority. Even a touch everyday expressing love, by wife or children can help in getting away with this feeling of loneliness.
Dr Sanjay Deshpande
Elaborating further, Dr Deshpande that it is a misnomer that the society is ‘Male Dominated’. Since ancient time, men are depicted as bread earners and expected to perform at very high level in sex. Even today a male child is groomed in that fashion, ignoring his inner emotional feelings. With greater emotional neglect they become harsh, sometimes violent. Women, on the other side becomes relatively free after attaining age of 40 or 45, when children grow and become independent.
Through a simple example Dr Deshpande stated that even a grown-up boy hugs his mother at least once in a day. However, rarely, he expresses the same feeling to his father. Even wife does not express similar kind of emotional attachment to her husband. However, at that age, she expects her husband to perform in bed. The husband, by then, at 50 plus age finds difficulty in sexual performance, which affects his psyche. At the same time, women become sexually active. The ramification of this situation are wide. Men may be dominating in some aspects like financial management, discipline etc. But they are emotionally starved, particularly after 50-55 years of age.
This is reflected in his illness and depression. A large number of patients of erectile dysfunction or early ejaculation, visit Dr Deshpande. Of them, more than 80% get relief through counselling or small dose of drugs. They are mainly inflicted with Performance Anxiety. Mental, physical and hormonal changes are natural and can be handled easily.
Hormonal changes may need attention by medical practitioner. Leaving aside wrong notions about sexuality, even expressing feeling of love and touching can provide immense pleasure and satisfaction. Dr Deshpande has been carrying out counselling sessions for more than two decades. He is also generating awareness through public programmes on the issue. Besides acquiring post-graduation in medicine, he has studied psychology, out of his curiosity and did BA with Psychology as one of the subjects.