AS A newlywed bride, I happened to attend the ‘bhog’ ceremony of one elderly relative. I chose to dress up in a simple attire for I thought something garish might be unsuitable for the sombre occasion. I met many relatives from my husband’s side who looked at me quizzically. While I empathised with the family that day and did not notice the attires everyone took notice of what I was wearing. And later on, I was made privy to all the nastiest remarks I received for turning up in something very drab. No one appreciated my kind gestures but everyone was quick to reprimand me for not appearing prim and proper, the way it befitted a newlywed bride.

 

I, along with my husband would visit my in-laws every weekend. A stop at a coffee joint which was en route our way was a must. Since Saturday for me was working, I would attend my work in the first half and carry on with the journey in the same clothes. I did not realise or perhaps it did not matter to me that my clothes became a little stained with cow dung or my shoes were all muddy. But soon I realised that people were quick to notice my smudged clothes.

 

Grooming myself and dressing up a little more consciously was a choice I made because I was usually berated in my family as well as amongst my in-laws for not being presentable enough. I was told that I was always the odd one out at marriage functions since I looked dull amidst the perfect looking faces.

 

Over the coming years, a sizeable chunk of my salary was spent on clothes. I spent time observing other women and how they dressed up. I bought expensive make-up kits on-line and watched Youtube tutorials on how to use them. It felt strange to get besotted with my own self. I wondered if all that tidying up changed anything in my life. While the outward manifestation of my appearance might have brought accolades, it did little to fill the gaps inside. My family might have appreciated this change in me but it was a huge burden on me to look presentable all the time.

 

And now when I am in my thirties and a little less concerned about opinions and judgements, I am back to my old self. I like to wear what I feel gives me comfort. I dress up for myself. I really do not think that what I wear or what I do not wear should be a matter of concern to anyone but me. I eat healthy, workout daily and try to keep myself focused and positive in my approach towards life. I invest my money in things and pursuits that really matter to me.

 

It’s strange how easily we give ourselves to any scrutiny over our appearance. How easily we get swayed by public perceptions! How easily we shift our focus to things that are frivolous and do not make much of a difference in the longer run. How apt someone has said, ‘Clothes don’t make a man!’ They definitely make us look beautiful, they don’t make us feel beautiful. For that inner glow, you need to find the light within self and make your life purposeful. And once you find that, it will reflect outside irrespective of what you are wearing!