THIS is one pang faced universally by countless people who often see the world beyond themselves, or who omit self from their own consideration. Mir Muhammad Taqi Mir often brings to fore such stabs of human emotion in masterful words. It is this ability of Mir’s that even led the unofficial poet laureate of Urdu to say: Rekhta Ke Tum Hi Ustad Nahi Ho, Ghalib, (You Are Not The Only Master of Rekhta -- treasure of Urdu expressions --, Ghalib,) Kehte Hain Agle Zamane Mein Koi Mir Bhi Thaa! (They say, there used to be a Mir In The Past) This verse talks of a person who, paradoxically, indulges in self-abnegation. In his quest to help others fulfill their dreams or perhaps realise themselves, the poet has gone beyond himself. In the process, he has forgotten his own being, his own interests, his own vision of life. He has often found genuine pleasure in others’ happiness.  

 

As he indulges in his do-gooder practices, he finds an inexplicable pleasure that glows on his face, in the process attracting towards him more and more seekers. However, a paradox may underlie his happy countenance, which Mir Taqi Mir has captured so precisely. Even as he lends his helping hand to everybody who seeks it -- or even the one who doesn’t -- the poet is engaged in search of an unworded happiness. He says nothing about that quiet search or unstated quest, but his mind is always looking for it. At the deepest level of his being, that search has a spiritual element -- of looking for himself. However, he is busy in helping others most selflessly. He has no grudges, no complaints, either. Much to the contrary, he is happy that he is able to make others happy. This act of spreading happiness certainly has its own reward, so to say. Yet, occasionally, the poet wonders about his own self. In the deepest corner of his being, he asks himself: ‘Where am I? Who am I? What am I? Where am I going?

 

Where is “I” in all this? Have I missed it in this selfless surge of good action?’ It is at the last question that he stumbles. His mind quivers with concern if he has lost himself in the process of selfless service to others! No, this does not generate any sense of grief or loss. But this question does give rise to the eternal query Man has often made of himself -- Who am I? Does not everybody wait for an answer to that question? Does not this question become a true quest that causes a paradoxical serene disquiet in the mind of sages? Of course, the sages, the wise men, often know that they must find themselves within themselves. And they also know that they will find themselves within themselves only when they go beyond themselves -- far beyond the narrow confines of their beings. Mir Taqi Mir has encapsulated all this spiritual activity in such few and fine words!