Gaslighting
   Date :29-Dec-2022

Gaslighting 
 
 
GASLIGHTING means psychological manipulation of the victim in such a way that the victim gets confused, loses confidence, and starts doubting himself. The word has roots in a 1938 play written by British novelist Patrick Hamilton set in the Victorian era. It’s a dark tale of a marriage based on deceit and trickery. The wife is psychologically manipulated into doubting herself. Gaslighting is the psychological manipulation of a person over an extended period, this can cause the victim to doubt their thoughts, perception of reality, or memories.
Long ago, I attended a seminar where the speaker spoke about how we are gaslighted into underestimating our strengths. He gave the example of an elephant calf that is tied to the stump with a thin chain. The little elephant calf tries to break it but it fails. Now the elephant is convinced that it cannot break the chain and remains bonded by the thin chain all his life. Confused, convinced that it cannot break the chain. The powerful animal is gaslighted in underestimating its strength.
As children, we are psyched into believing many things that we remain gaslighted to, though we grow up and know the reality. One such thing is promoted by the carbonated soft drink manufacturers to tempt us into buying their products though we are aware of the health hazards of enjoying such drinks. The skin whitening cream manufacturers have been gaslighting Indians into believing that their creams could make them fair, reaping unfairly huge benefits in return.
When someone tells you “You are too sensitive” after you react sharply to something disagreeable done by them, remember you are being gaslighted into believing that you are an idiot to have reacted in that manner though you know you were correct.
Distorting reality and confusing others or gaslighting is a tool used everywhere by people who want to have an upper hand by easily manipulating the emotions of the victim. We see mass gaslighting by advertising agencies when they make us believe that a particular product is the only answer to a particular problem and those not using it are missing out on something and are left behind in this mad rat race.
Distracting with compassion is another way of gaslighting, “you know I will never intentionally hurt you.” Gaslighting people often sugarcoats toxic situations with kind platitudes to distract you from your agitated state of mind and you feel guilty when you should feel angry or offended.
Gaslighting people often discounts your achievement by telling you that you are still not properly appreciated for your excellence thus making you underestimate your achievements. Gaslighting is a tool regularly used by wicked people to exploit simple and trusting people who love to the extent of doubting their sanity. Sadly, most of us experience this at some point of life when we lose our sanity and doubt ourselves.
I have a defense against gaslighting people that helps me. Whenever someone makes me feel that I am a fool, I reject that idea outright by telling myself that I am the best and the gaslighter is the idiot to underestimate me. Not that I have always correctly estimated myself but at least it has saved me the pain of underestimating my mental stability. Stay enlightened, not gaslighted.