“YOUR teenagechildren arelike your office crush!,”said the comedian to a loud roar of laughs.“Youfeel as if on the seventh heaven, if they speak with you.” “You knock at their shut-for-all-times door of averyheavilyprivacy-laden room and get greeted with only araised eyebrow.“Will youjoin us for lunch?” Yougently ask to someone who has mastered the art of being extremely busy without any work. Youget dismissed by a‘not-now’ shrug,”shesaidgarneringlot of ‘humms.’ The audience agreed to this ‘ghar ghar ki kahani’... as did I. It’s been 19 years that I entered motherhood and everyday of it has been...well...quite a handful. But I never thought I was raising my ownboss! In all cultures and civilisations of the world, even in the wild jungles,kids aresupposed to listen to their parents, follow certain rules and operate as partofa larger whole.Come teen age and the part becomes the whole when it is not yet even the wholesome part of the whole.

 

 

 

Teens,have been mourned by all generations in all ages, but oursis particularly miffed over the bulk of teenagers walking, right now, upon theearth.They do not exist upon earth, (alongside everyone else like the way we did,) they claim the entireearth. ...and we who had walked alongside everyone else for along time with the hope to claim it one day,are finding ourselves again on the wayside! Forsure, the teenagers claim what we have been dying to command. My house,for eg. My poor dear husband is its lawful owner. I, the poor wife of the poor owner, am its keeper.But my daughter is its sovereign ruler! Her wish, (getting costlier by the day) is our command! While we aretaxed heavily for being good citizens of the realm, she can still slide into a‘non-co-operation movement against an oppressiveregime’any time!

 

We mayclaim that our household is avery democratic world where everyone’sequal before law,but like all functional democracies,some, indeed,are moreequal than theothers.Like some ‘Netas’ of our times, it is she who dictates almost everything! It may sound pretty odd, but in my little household,I enjoy fraternity with my poor husband alone.Ours is the ‘brotherhood of pain!’ Like apoor citizen carrying afile moving from pillar to postina government office,Imove around her only to get ‘tariq pe tariq.’ Just as sound of“Omkar”floats in the Universe, “Not now” and “Two minutes”are sounds floating in my home.Like promises doled out in our government departments,even my daughter’s ‘Not Now’does not mean later. It may mean never.And ‘Two minutes’, has nothing to do with numberortime.The two words may mean sometime in the not-so-near future, after seasons of reminders,notices and ultimatums.

 

The most vexed part of my existence is that when Iwas ateenager,(onceupon atime), teenageofferednosuchlovelyadvantages.World, then was divided into just three categories -kids, adults and elders,nuances of ages not-withstanding. Ithink that in notwithstanding too many subtleties, my parents’generations and those beforethem, withstood all the changes of the times.Their teens were definitely better behaved. Obedience,backthen,was commanded, demanded, required,extracted and more or less given. During my teens,I lived in dread of my mom’s raisedeyebrow and now, in my daughter’s teens, Ifear her raised eyebrow. Honestly, my eyebrowsare twitching with ahope that someday,someone would worryabout my browstoo. Psychologists say that teenage is ‘a critical window of neurological growth and identityformation’.Isay,why was this windowshut tight when we were teenagers? Back then, teenage was too insignificant to be anything ‘critical.’ As for ‘Identity formation’, obedience was its sole criteria “Do you listen to your parents? Good girl.”That was it.

 

To such aquestion, you could just nod and not say,“Well, it depends on alot of things like if it suits me, or if myrights arenot being trampled upon, or if Iget the right vibe...”I can imagine faces aghast, mouth agape and ‘fatwas’ issued. Listening to elders was such agiven thing that on most occasions,elders did not even wait for an answer and took it for granted that they have been listened to.Perhaps,the skill of listening will die with us!The theory of evolution suggests that if one species does not use an organ for a very longtimethen in some thousand years’ time they may lose it completely as Naturehates redundance.Howbad would human specie look without ears?!? Thankfully,the ingenious manhas also invented headphones,ear plugs and pods, so that the organ survives.Ifnot for listening to what their elders aresaying, teenagers will want holders for their machines and the ears will survive. ButI am digressing! My grudge is that it was no fun being ateenager when Iwas one and it is no fun being an elder,when I am one.I and my ilk never got to taste command. My only consolation is that my ‘office crush’, ‘my boss’with eyephones on her head, busying herself in her very private room, is still not an fully grown adult. Shemay be not be agood listener,but on and off, my house also beams with the sounds of “Mumma Sunno...!”