By RITA AGGARWAL :
Q. My son aged 10, does not want to go to school from the last 15 days. We have tried everything and even consulted our family doctor, with no success. He simply refuses to go and complains of stomach aches when we force him. The doctor says he may be facing some psychological issues. Do I need to come to Nagpur for counselling? Does he need treatment? Please advice?
Ans. Yes, it would be better if you bring him to Nagpur and we can talk to him in person. Counselling is a safe method for treatment and he does not have a ‘mental problem’ as such but certainly an emotional problem as we understand it. Behaviour can get affected and blocked with negative emotions which gets generated in a normal human process. Something must have happened in school with a teacher or with his class mates that has upset him. Sometimes the perception also gets distorted and disturbs the mind which again impacts the mind. We need to find out what is making him fearful and anxious and once he opens his mind and speaks out, he will begin to feel better. You could come on a Saturday evening -please call a week in advance to take an appointment. He will be fine and well. L K
Q. I am working in an office since 6 years and I like the place. But lately, I have started getting irritated each day. I don’t know the reason for my irritability and why I am unhappy all the time. My colleagues have asked me to see a doctor. Even my wife has noticed changes in me. When can I come for counselling? How many sessions do I need? Am I going mental as they are telling me? Please help me.
Ans. You would need to identify the reasons for the changes in your behaviour/personality and that actually would be half the problem solved. There are many finer nuances of the mind which need introspection and analysis such as negative thoughts, negative emotions, lack of coping responses and indecisiveness which can lead to disturbances in behaviour. If all are noticing a change including your wife and office colleagues, then you will need a few sessions of counselling and the sooner you start the process the faster will be the recovery. Don’t worry too muchcall us for an appointment. Leave the rest to us. W W
Q. I met someone on Facebook, and we clicked instantly. We like each other a lot. Now, he wants to meet me in his city, which is far away from my place. I will need money to travel and also a place to stay. Should I do it or am I doing something wrong? I fear my parents as they are very strict. But I am very confused. Please guide me.
Ans. You know very well what I am going to suggest to you and I think you need someone to strongly tell you so. Your friends may be tempting you to do so and of course the boy is insisting quite a bit. What baffles me is why the fellow is not taking the initiative to travel to your city to meet you? It is easier for a boy than for a girl to make this move as boys have more mobility surely. There are certain lurking fears- suppose this is an entrapment? He may exploit you in some way and supposing there is a group of boys backing him to do so? Then you will be in deeper trouble. Going to an unknown city alone and staying in a hotel and having an unknown boy visit you in the hotel where you are staying (he is going to insist for that), smells of deep danger. This thought should put you in high alert and stop your plans to even give it a thought. Just say a clear NO and end the dialogue on FB. That should put him off your track and he might be looking for someone else! There are people on the prowl on FB looking for preys! Be safe and healthy- you will find a good boy to make friends with. Forget this one.
(Consulting Psychologist) Changes in behaviour are significant signs The columnist can be reached on 9823073986, and 0712- 2220250. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.manodaya.org