By RITA AGGARWAL :
Q. I’m a 16-year-old-girl studying in class XI. I have a bad habit of overthinking. I also make up scenarios in my mind and keep thinking about lovely moments of past. This disturbs me and I can't concentrate on studies. I also sleep a lot. I don’t have good friends, and I don’t know why people avoid me. I live in Jabalpur and I can’t come to Nagpur. Please help.
Ans. Over thinking and imagining situations of the future (reflecting your desires) and refreshing the good moments of the past is what you are describing as your state of mind. People avoid you and you don’t have good friends is another reality of concern to you. Well, sometimes a simple solution to this complex sounding problem could be to get into ‘action mode’ and get yourself engaged in activities of your interest. Make a list of things you would enjoy doing to some extent even if not greatly, such as walking, cycling, music, dancing, cooking, etc, which you should start immediately. Exercising is a very good option. Too much thinking can be offset by actions and routine tasks. Also focus on career making and not on friends, although they are important and necessary, it is not something you cannot do away with. Let people avoid you if they want to for once you succeed in studies and career everyone gets attracted to you. Nothing succeeds like success they say, which is true. I wish you all the best in future. H S
Q. There is constant fighting in my house and I can’t study properly at home. I am preparing for NEET exams, I think I will be unsuccessful due to fighting between family members. My brother’s wife and my mother clash over small things many times in the day. I want to run away somewhere and sit peacefully and study. I am serious about becoming a doctor and I have many doctors in my large family.
Ans. One solution is to find some space in a college library or a coaching centre which will allow you to sit and study in peace. Many college libraries have the facility of allowing students to study full day and keep your books safely too. Another way is to request for a separate room in the house, if possible, and to lock yourself in the room for the day. Come to the common area only for meals and for short breaks. Request your mother to not narrate her woes to you and to solve her problems with the help of other family members. I understand your studies are serious and huge and I appreciate the fact that you are determined to pursue your course of study to succeed. I like your dedicated aim to become a doctor and you must try your best to achieve it. Detach yourself from the family and get into a meditative mood for studies. Prakkash Satputhe
Q. I am a regular reader of your column Emotions. In queries section frequently people complain that they feel lonely or are disturbed by material life problems and seek your help. You must be advising meditation to few of them. I would like to draw your attention to a very efficacious and easy meditation practice called Heartfulness. I am a Heartfulness meditation practitioner since last 22 years and also one of the Heartfulness trainers in Nagpur. Heartfuless was introduced in India by a Yogi some 100 years ago. It was formally instituted in 1945 to make it spread to maximum people around the world. Today Heartfulness has a presence in more than 130 countries. Heartfulness is a non-commercial organisation and is free for life long practice. There are many trainers available in and around Nagpur. Seekers may reach out to nearest trainer by visiting heartfulness.org.
Ans. I am publishing your letter for the benefit of people. Thank you for your initiative of writing to me about helping people with a practice named Heartfulness. I am actually unaware of it and have never heard about it. If it has been operative for a century and giving relief to people, it must be a good method to learn and practice. Of course we have our own brand of meditative practices and this could be a welcome addition.
RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Nothing succeeds like success The columnist can be reached on 9823073986, and 0712- 2220250. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.manodaya.org