By RITA AGGARWAL:
Q. I am totally confused about my career. My parents want me to take up Commerce and become a CA, as my father is one. But I am interested in Humanities and like English literature. No one supports me and instead tease me for it. I am very unhappy and confused. Is it a bad career option?
Ans. Arts and humanities are great courses to learn and study. It has many subjects as an option. English language, as well as other languages are great to opt for and make a career in. If you like teaching and lecturing then of course you can make a career in it and is a good line for girls. If you are not interested in teaching then we would need to know your interest areas in career making where English language can be of much use, such journalism and mass media, corporate communications, electronic media, advertising, creative writing, content writing, translations etc. There is a market for such skills and English being an international language is an asset. Be proud to be an arts student and go ahead with your head held high. Bring your parents for counselling if they are not convinced. P L
Q. I had a bad accident when I was in college. It makes me walk with a limp. It didn’t bother me when I was studying but now when I think of getting married, I hesitate. I feel no confidence in myself and my personality. My parents feel I will get many good offers from girls but I’m refusing to meet them. I am afraid they will laugh at me. I have been rejected once. What should I do? Do I need counselling?
Ans. Yes, counselling will help us understand the negativity in your mind and manage it by getting rid of it and developing a healthy attitude and personality. Many people have poor body image which may be based on social prejudices and stereotyping. Fair skin is better than brown even though we are Asians-Indians; thin is better than plump because the models and film stars set the trend; good features and good looks are important for good life is nonsense and so on. A damaged leg due to an accident may be a slight disadvantage to you in terms of restricting your activities such as fast walking or running but the fact that you have two legs and can walk with a limp is great. Choose a girl who will accept you wholeheartedly and will accept your good points of personality. Always inform the other party honestly of your story and let them adapt to it. We all live with some sort of handicap, whether it is physical, mental, social, or economic. Please don’t worry about minor handicaps- no one is perfect and a wise lady will understand that. Meanwhile think positive, develop your strengths and look forward to a happy future. L K
Q. I am afraid of Maths and I feel I cannot even pass Class X in that subject. I get scolding all the time and my father tells me to pass school somehow and get into Polytechnic. There again I will have to do maths, but he is not listening. He says if I work hard I can and after Polytechnic I should get into Engineering. He wants me to be an engineer somehow. He could not become an engineer and so he wants me to make him proud. I feel like committing suicide or running away from home. Please help me.
Ans. Oh dear! You are in a tight spot with your Father’s obsession and insistence of making you an engineer! If Maths is tough for you in Std10th, then it is best for you to drop it in the next level and do not opt for polytechnic nor engineering. It is not everyone’s cup of tea and it cannot be forced. I think you need to stand up for yourself and tell them in whatever way he understands that you will not do engineering or polytechnic. Request help from your mother, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, teacher or neighbour! Ultimately you can come for counselling and we will test your aptitude and convince your father. Do not think or talk about suicide, it is better to shout and scream and be heard. Don’t give up.
By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Humanities is a great subject The columnist can be reached at 201, Paramount Heights, 40 Cement Road, Shivaji Nagar Nagpur 440010 or on 9156582334, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.rita-psychologist.com)