Changing attitudes and norms
   Date :05-May-2019

Q. I recently cleared class 12 exams and preparing for JEE Advance now. What are the courses offered for research in Physics after 12 Std. Actually I am interested in both Physics and Mathematics. So is there a way I can study both of them in the same course? Or would I have to study both of them separately? Can I get this course at IISC Bengaluru or IISER Pune, Kolkata etc. Kindly help me.
Ans. It is good to know that you are interested in pure science and are aiming for the best institutes such as IISc and IISER. In the undergraduate programme you will study the electives you choose in the first two years which can include physics, maths, chemistry, biology etc but in the third year you will need to major in only one subject and majoring in two subjects is not allowed for it becomes too heavy during the project work. The UG course has now become a four year degree course and some changes have been introduced. Please check the site of IISc Bengaluru. Go ahead and do well in your JEE advance. I wish you all the best. MN
Q. I lost my mother a few years ago and with difficulty we two, sister and brother, moved on with life. We were very unhappy but my aunt and nani helped us a lot in dealing with our loss. My father lost himself in work and left us to my aunt and nani. My dadi never liked my mother much and I feel she was not affected much. Now a different problem has come to fore. My father is having an affair with a woman in his office. She wants to marry him and pursuing him. I read the messages in his phone, which I know is wrong, and now I very nervous and scared. What will happen to us if he remarries. I have not told this to my brother as I know he will fight with my father. Please tell me what to do.
Ans. I am sure it is stressful for you to know that your father is probably involved with another lady and they are likely to get married in the near future. You feel scared and anxious about the future. You are right in feeling this way for if he marries another lady, you will have to make a lot of changes in your life. But think about this from two angles, one from your side and one from the side of your father. From your side, you will have to accept a new member/stranger in your house in place of your mother. Let me suggest a few things. You will be better off if you do not build any biases against her from the beginning for she may turn out to be a good person who will accept you whole heartedly. You might make friends with her and she can be an asset in the house. From your father side, he will be a happier person if he remarries and gets a wife. His loneliness will be solved and he will start coming home earlier like before. If he wants to remarry you should allow him.But all this is your conjecture. We are not sure if he really wants to marry or not. He likes some lady is all that you know. He has not mentioned marriage to her but she is interested as per your understanding. Now-a-days it is common to go for another marriage if you have lost a spouse. Now that you have adjusted to the loss of your mother with the help of your aunt and nani, I am sure you will be able to take things in your stride. You seem to be a level headed person who can think logically. Never go by prejudices and biases prevalent in society for that gives you a pre-conceived notion of things which may not be true. Education of women has made a huge difference to the thoughts and attitudes of people. People are more open minded, broad minded and modern in outlook. With changing times it is good to change and adapt too. I wish you all the best in your life.
RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Changing attitudes and norms The columnist can be reached at 201, Paramount Heights, 40 Cement Road, Shivaji Nagar Nagpur 440010 or on 9156582334, 2220250 and 2223322. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at