By RITA AGGARWAL:
Q. I.m deeply in love with a guy who had been pursuing me on and off for last six years. I used to be extremely uncomfortable around him and could barely look at his face and talk. I’m shy, reserved and don’t have any close friends. He understood my traits very well. He kept on sending texts with romantic undertones like how he wants me to take up his responsibilities, move slowly towards the final goal, pestering me to accept my feelings for him first and then he’ll do the same, requesting me to call him up regularly at nights and during his lunch break in the office. I was completely under his charm and could think of no one else as my life partner. 4 months back he stopped talking to me and then recently showed up to announce his engagement with another girl. I had a heated confrontation with him wherein he dumped the entire blame on me for misunderstanding his ‘Friendship’ and accused me of making up a story in my mind as he talks to all of his friends like this. My world has come crashing down as my existence revolved around him.
Ans. Such fellows are callous cads. They are cheats and sociopaths. Best to keep away from such guys. Thank your stars that you have been saved from such a rogue for life. And bless the girl who has got engaged to him for marriage. You can be sure that he will dump her too very soon or marry her and keep cheating her with his nonsensical romantic escapades. Characters like this don’t change ever and continue to behave dishonourably with women all the time. They treat women as objects of use and fun and actually don’t love anyone deeply. They have narcissistic traits and therefore love only themselves. Hunting women and making them submit to their whims and fancies is a serious hobby and actually pride themselves on ‘wooing’ them over rather than feeling guilty and sorry. They never feel guilt and so forget it as a bad dream. Keep away from narcissistic sociopaths. S.N
Q. I am mother (30yr) of 1 year old girl and living in isolated family. I really need to make my career as early as possible but I just graduated in B.Sc.(Chem,Bot,Zoo) and last yeartaken admission in B.ed.but can’t study well because of responsibility of my daughter. I never get free time to think about the way of life and it’s create obnoxious condition for me.what's youropinion about me? which field I have to choose for career and how? I m ready to do 1yr. diploma courses if I will get the proper job. Please guide me.
Ans. It depends on what type of job you prefer. B.Ed will fetch you a teaching job which is good but there could be other higher paying jobs such as Banks, sales and marketing, insurance agencies, and such avenues. Look out for a reasonable creche for your child in the meantime when you start working after some time. What you need is a session on career planning and not an adhoc decision. Consult some wise friend or come to us for that. If making a career is important for you at this stage of life then you need to plan it out systematically in steps keeping in mind your short term and long term goals. Make an assessment of your entire life situation and also your aptitude, abilities, interests and your family liabilities and then think of the best options open to you. There is a way of going about the whole thing and the you will be able to make the right decision which will give you satisfaction and happiness.
RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Keep away from callous cads The columnist can be reached at 201, Paramount Heights, 40 Cement Road, Shivaji Nagar Nagpur 440010 or on 9823073986, and 0712- 2220250. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.manodaya.org