By RITA AGGARWAL:
Q. I feel disturbed madam. One boy in my class stares at me all the time. Till now I ignored him always and my friends mocked him several times. But now, it is bothering me and I am surprised. I don’t even like the boy and in fact hate him for his behaviour. I wanted to report him to our sir, but I did not do so. What should I do? Please help me.
Ans. He is certainly sick and has disturbed you too. He does not seem to be playing games for he was doing that he would be part of some group in the class or the school/college where you study. Group behaviour is funny and follows queer behaviour- they can decide to tease/ nag/ or bully someone and then one of them can indulge in such behaviour to disturb you. It is not a bad idea to report the matter to your class teacher or the principal and let them handle it. If it is a part of a group trick, it will stop immediately and if the fellow is sick then too, the authorities will handle it. You take care of yourself and don’t fall victim to people’s peculiarities. You will come across various types of personalities and the best thing to do is to keep away from them and make a good circle of friends who keep happy and healthy and keep you safe and protected. Make good friends and stay with them. J K
Q. There are two girls in my life and I like both of them. They are both good girls, but now both want to marry me and I cannot decide! I am in a problem now as they both came to know of each other and now fight with me. They both love me and I like them too. I feel like a bad person, when both of them shout at me! I want to run away from this. Please advice.
Ans. Yes, running away from both seems the best possible option for you at the moment! When you feel safe from both and have pondered over the situation with a cool head, you could decide what happened and why- were you just friends or had made a serious commitment to one or both of them. If you made no commitment to anyone then you are in a more or less safe zone! You can then choose the one that fits your life and mind better and make a serious proposal to her, if at all, you want to marry. If you are in no mood to marry right now then of course running away is the best option for you! Facing both of them is going to be a very stressful and challenging proposition. You could look for a friend who can act as a go-between and help you make peace. P L
Q. My father is a businessman and I too want to do business, but he is forcing me to take up a professional course and go abroad for higher studies. He wants me to be like the children of some of his friends, who are sending their sons abroad for studies and work. I don’t want to go and I am happy with my father’s business. I don’t like to study Science and Technology and he is forcing me to opt for Engineering. My mother is not in favour of my father’s decision, but she keeps quiet in front of him. What should I do?
Ans. Firstly, if you don’t want to do engineering please don’t joint the course under any circumstances. It can be disastrous for you if you fail in the course and become miserable. Secondly doing family business is fine but the family should agree to it and secondly you need to seek college education too whatever may be the degree- it could be BBA, B.Com or BA or whatever you choose. Talk to your parents in a proper manner and try your best to convince them that engineering is not your future and neither going abroad is your dream. Staying at home and doing the family business is a wonderful decision. Perhaps they are not happy with your habits and life-style and feel that you are trying to escape the situation and avoiding studies. Agreed that not all students are oriented towards higher academics and many are practical in nature and would prefer to get into hands-on work. Convince them about your good nature and good intentions.
RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist) Convince your parents The columnist can be reached on 9823073986, and 0712- 2220250. She can also be reached at [email protected] and can be visited at www.manodaya.org