By T G L IYER :
R eal is not how you are made. It is a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a very long time not just to play with you but really loves you, then you become real. It does not happen all at once but takes a long time. That is why it does not happen to people who break easily or have sharp edges or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real most of your hair has fallen, your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are real, you can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand. Real men can show affection. Our mission in life is not to change the world. Our mission is to change ourselves.
To change, there is no outward solution but only inside solution. Remember, also that when you change, you are not alone. When you get sick and tired, you will change. We can’t fix life by working on the outside but only by inside. The nature of a thing is actually altered by the observer. As you change your outlook, your life also will change. What we call joy is fresh vision. When you are sick for some time and come out of it, you feel joy not because the world has changed but you have developed a fresh vision. My father used to say: “You see people not as they are but as you are. When you meet anyone remember that it is a holy encounter. As you see him you see yourself.
As you treat him, you will treat yourself. In him, you will find or lose yourself ! Every event in your life is a meaningful feedback. Life is not a lottery but a purposeful mission. You pay attention to the present and you find your rewards. Also treat others as you want to be treated. Also see things from the other man’s point of view.” Good advice always help us to operate efficiently in life. The backbone of manhood is not properly estimated. Character as capital is very much underestimated by most young men. They seem to put more emphasis on shrewdness, influence than on honesty, integrity and character. A large part of business in the world is based on reputation. Bankers make loans or refuse them; jobless give credit or refuse it largely on a man’s reputation.
A well known Banker says: “Crores of rupees are loaned on character because they will not borrow more than what they need. That is called Honesty and integrity. Clement Stone and Napoleon Hill defined initiative as “That exceedingly rare quality that prompts a person to do which ought to be done without being told.” It is determination that starts all action and keeps things going until the job is finished. Personal initiative is the driving force that transforms your goals and ideas into reality. Personal initiative is essential for success in many fields, whether it is business, sports, politics, entertainment or public service. You may have the requisite skills; you may have the necessary education; you may have great ideas; you may practice all principles of success but unless you take the initiative, nothing will happen. I once asked a businessman how he became successful in life. Instead of answering my question he merely said: “What is success? Is it money wealth, mansion, reputation or good personality? I had no answer and so he continued “Success is making yourself a good human being”.
A sculptor was working on a rock chipping away unwanted parts. After a few days the figure of Mahatma Gandhi came out. When he was asked how he knew that the Mahatma was inside the rock, he replied “By merely chipping away the unwanted parts of the rock!” Russell Conwell tells the story of Hamid el Fayed who owned a big farm, cattle and was a rich man. A Merchant happened to come one day and said “You can get lots of diamonds on the shores of Caspian Sea. Hamid sold all his property and went in search of Diamonds and could not find any and got himself drowned in the Sea.
The person who bought Hamid’s Farm while watering his Donkey saw something glittering in the water flow. He picked it up and without a second thought kept it on the mantelpiece. The same merchant again happened to visit him and he saw the stone on the mantelpiece. He examined it and pronounced that it is the largest and costliest diamond he had ever seen. The owner took him to the backyard and there picked many diamonds lying in the stream. The merchant philosophised “When your backyard is full of diamonds, why go in search of it elsewhere?