‘Making difficult choices’
| Date :28-Jun-2020 |
By RITA AGGARWAL (Consulting Psychologist)
R K Gupt
Q. I am 34 years old. I was an average student and working in the Middle East since 2017. My father passed away 10 years ago. I have faced many money-related difficulties in my life. We are a family of four siblings consisting of an elder sister, elder brother and a younger brother. Only my elder brother is married. These days, I am under a bit of a pressure to get married, but finding a life partner is not easy. Moreover, in my company, we are entitled to 60 days leave after completion of two years in service. Going back to India is easy, but getting a job and good money is not easy and starting a family in Middle East is very difficult. What should I do?
Ans. This is a peculiar situation where you have a good job, but are not married yet. You are looking for a life partner and that is proving difficult for you. Well, one way could be to advertise in India for a partner and get into an ‘arranged marriage’. Instead of mingling and trying to mingle you could advertise and go through these matrimony sites. Of course you may not like to shift to India due to monetary reasons, but you could come to India for marriage and take her with you to Middle East. No one stops you for opting for that except the COVID situation. A few months and the situation will ease out and you can marry. Meanwhile engage yourself with matrimony sites and bride hunting by talking to the prospective girls/women and get busy. I am sure many women would be willing to accompany you to the Middle East. If the job is lucrative and if you are happy with it, please do not leave it and come back to India. Many people have found their life partners through these sites. I wish you good luck! M M
Q. I love English language and love to write. I read your columns regularly and also of other writers. I have written small pieces for the newspaper and also for Twinkle Star Magazine, when I was in school. I think I would like to be a writer, but I have taken Science as I like it too and everyone is putting pressure on me to pursue Science. Now I don’t know what to choose. My heart lies in writing and my reasoning says Science is a good profession. Please help me make a choice.
Ans. Well, it is good to know that you like Science and it comes easily to you and you love writing as well. As I think you could retain both for the moment and continue to study Science till you get bored and continue to write as well. Many people make a switch mid-way or earlier after a few years of work experience when they feel grounded with some money in the pocket and lots of experience on the job. They are better equipped with the world scene and the market scenario to make a choice to shift full time into writing. No one can steal your writing ability, but science will have to be studied and honed. Of course writing also needs honing with many years of practice, but an interest and flair for language can feed it and nourish it without formal training too! Science would need formal training and education. This is one option since you said you like science as well. Second option is to get straight into English literature or then journalism and mass media. This shuts down the options of Science completely. If you will not miss Science and regret it later, go ahead and jump into writing and language head on. Be sure of yourself. If still confused, take a session with me on career guidance and planning.
Note: Readers are requested to write short queries in approx 150 to 200 words. Furthermore, do not use abbreviations in career queries to avoid confusion. The columnist can be reached at [email protected]