SOLILOQUY, meaning a condition manifesting talking loudly to oneself, has afflicted me from the day I entered the world. Initially, it was the curious knocks on my bathroom door from my parents inquiring as to whom I was talking to and now it is the strange looks that I receive from people and passers-by when I am gloriously chatting with myself on roads and other public places.

The level of engrossment is such that it takes a lot of effort to come out of it consciously. I have often heard my parents discussing my behaviour with concern and my grandmother dismissing the same citing heredity. I have observed people smirking and smiling at me from the corner of my eyes and I have continued having a dialogue with myself. One day, I decided to look up the matter and was pleasantly surprised to discover that the terra firma had a substantial number of brethren having a conversation with themselves on a regular basis. Scientific explanations are aplenty enumerating various reasons for this distinct trait and many great men and women have been listed being soliloquists. Unfortunately, neither do I possess nor do I exhibit anything extraordinary to put myself in this league.

In ninth grade, my grandfather tasked me to fetch kerosene from a ration shop. Having known my condition, he forewarned me to remain vigilant as there were multiple shops on a particular street dispensing ration. I was supposed to buy from a small bunk manned by an elderly gentleman. Since I was singularly reviewing a movie released recently loudly, I straightway joined a long queue in one of the shops. Almost an hour and a half later, when my turn came, the owner rudely informed me that I was at the wrong place. The shock lasted for a minute or two as I staggered out of the place wondering what to do next. Divine grace smiled at me and I saw directly in front of me a septuagenarian sitting inside a confined space. Like an instant flashback, the words bunk and old man reverberated in my mind and I knew that I had hit the jackpot. Fearing the worst, my grandfather hurriedly left our home and reached the gate when he saw me entering with a swag, our eyes met for an instant and we jointly erupted in laughter.

By the time I reached college, I was now consciously talking to myself very often and the topics had changed from movies to careers and wading through a competitive world. It helped me participate effectively in competitions like debates, group discussions, and model parliaments. In work life, I play out my thoughts before I am about to enter into a formal meeting with my stakeholders and it has resulted positively most of the time.

Nowadays, I have transitioned from self-speak to role modelling. One day, I fantasised about being an erudite journalist asking all the right questions and the other day, I am a famous politician answering all the tough queries posed by people. From this point onwards, how this is going to shape is something I do not have a clue, maybe some habits should be left as they are.