BY C S KRISHNAMURTHY 

 

 

 

AS AN INDIAN, I can’t help but chuckle every time I find myself at the airport, railway station, or bus terminal, bidding farewell to friends and relatives. It’s an age-old tradition, and let me tell you, it’s an art form in itself. Recall earlier generations. Whether someone is leaving for Sydney or just going to Sriperumpudur, the departure dramas are bound to entertain and, at times, baffle you. Firstly, you need to know about these send-off rituals, which start at least a day ahead. We believe in making a grand spectacle of good-byes, so preparations often begin with an adieu dinner. Relatives gather, neighbours are informed, and, suddenly your kitchen looks like a wedding feast is in the making. It’s like “Bon Voyage! Here’s a stomach-full of deliciousness to remember us by.” The departure day, there’s a hilarious mix of emotions. At the railway station, you’re bombarded with advice from uncles and aunts, like “Don’t talk to strangers” to “Stay away from the pantry car”. They cling to you like you’re their lucky charm! Suddenly, relatives you never knew existed, pop up, armed with wisdom and blessings, like they’ve been summoned by some mystical force. It’s like a crash course in life survival right there on the platform –a free entertainment for co-passengers. Your luggage will be overflowing with packets of home-cooked food and snacks.

 

If you’re heading to a colder destination, be prepared to be draped in layers of sweaters and shawls, even if it’s 40 degrees outside. Indians have mastered the art of stuffing a suitcase, but sadly, it’s not with the essentials. But that’s not all; the railway “announcements” are legendary. The booming voice over the loudspeakers will make you question if they’re trying to communicate with the Moon. Every announcement is filled with so much emotion and passion that it feels like you’re on the sets of a Bollywood drama. “Mumbai se aane waali Dadar Express… apne priye dosto ko alvida kehne ke liye taiyyaar hai!” (The Dadar Express from Mumbai is ready to bid farewell to your beloved friends!). Coming to airport scenario, first, it’s the baggage, which is a game of how much you can stuff in one box. The weighing scale becomes the arch-nemesis of every traveller. “Sir, please don’t look at the weighing scale. It’s not accurate. It’s had a tough day,” we’ll plead with the stone-faced airline staff. Once, as I was about to embark on my Bangkok escapade, I witnessed a passenger’s battle with excess-baggage. Hardly a kg extra, but the budget-airline staff would not budge.

 

His solution? Fashion show at the check-in counter! The dude pulls out a couple of tees and wears them! Voila! No excess-baggage fees! After the elaborate security checks and passport verifications, you’d think you’re on the clear, right? Wrong. As soon as you’re about to enter the departure gates, you’ll be stopped by tearful relatives clutching to your sleeves, insisting on taking one last selfie, which is non-negotiable. As the “final call” echoes through, there’s a frenzy of hugging, kissing and waving. The security personnel are used to it, and they let you have your moment, as long as it doesn’t involve you sprinting towards the departure gate. The theatrics at bus terminals is more like a comedy sketch. People arrive hours before the bus is due, with bags, sacks, and sometimes even live animals. Yes, I’ve seen families try to board a bus with a goat. You’d think it’s a joke, but it’s not. The loud arguments with the bus conductor about the number of bags allowed and the desperate attempts to keep your seat from being ‘encroached’ upon by fellow passengers adds to the amusement. Whatever, it’s a cacophony of laughter, tears, and the occasional heated argument, but it’s a tradition that’s close to our hearts. After all, we believe in sending our loved ones off with a bang, and a little bit of chaos.