BY DR. PRAGYA MATHUR KUMAR  

 

 

 

She usually rings the doorbell several times in quick succession. Her time is precious and several households depend on her to breathe easy and go on with their tasks for the day. Neatly tied up hair and big bindi on her forehead, she smiles easily and seems to be happier than a lot of people in seemingly better circumstances than her in life. When she first got associated with our home, there were teething troubles. She used to consume what is locally called ‘Kharra’ and her arrival was accompanied by a rather loud and unpleasant smell that wasn’t welcome in our home. So we decided to sort it out. She laughed nervously when asked what it was that she was chewing all the time and why. It turned out, she was using it as a substitute for proper meals which were skipped because there was not enough time to feed herself while rushing from one household to another. It kept hunger at bay and allowed her to experience the illusion of having enough energy to help clean houses, wash clothes and utensils at work. It wasn’t easy but a lot of convincing and awareness about the long-term consequences finally made her come around. She agreed to reduce and finally stop consuming ‘Kharra’. The constant messaging about taking care of the ‘only body you’ve got to carry through this life” did have an impact.

 

That nothing is more important than self care… did get registered in her framework eventually. Yesterday she rang the bell once… and waited patiently. Knowing fully well that the situation indoors was below optimal. Isn’t it amazing how empathy can impact one’s behaviour? “Tabiyat kaisa hai Didi? Tum thoda aaraam karo. Kam to ho jayega… sabse pehle sehat theek karo. Hamesha tum mujhe bolte ho na… abhi main bol rahi hoon. Apna dhyaan rakho. Ek do din rest karlo. Tabiyat accha ho jayega tab phir kaam karne ko chaloo ho jaana.” She kept saying what she had in mind and from her expression, it was obvious she was thoroughly enjoying this role reversal! Someone else had donned a new hat too. In between the study sessions for the ongoing exams, regularly checking the temperature and ensuring timely medication was a young boy taking care of his mother. Making the perfect cup of garam garam chai… to soothe the throat.

 

Just about everything a parent would be doing around an unwell child was happening…. only the roles were reversed! As a school-going student, I’d always been intrigued by this line of a poem by William Wordsworth: The Child is father of the Man. That poems are open to different interpretations is well accepted by those who love them. While there are different interpretations of the phrase “The Child is father of the Man”, the most popular one is that our childhoods shape our adulthood. At this particular juncture … a new interpretation popped up. Was it possible to see quite literally, the Child as a parent? How about embracing the idea of a larger consciousness that remains a constant through all physical stages and dissolves the boundaries of age? While falling sick may not be the best learning tool, it did provide new insights into what lies beyond the apparent. The role reversals showed clearly the seamless connection that humans have with each other. There’s a song that comes to mind as this piece of spontaneous writing draws to a close… I believe in angels… Something good in everything I see…!