Marriage has long been a topic of prominence in Indian families, often discussed even before their children are yet to reach a marriageable age. With the evolving cultural landscape, sensitivity regarding practices surrounding marriage like dowry and other questionable customs has also somehow changed along with a shift in attitudes when gender roles enter the scenario. Though much can be discussed on marriages and weddings, it is time to understand what today’s young adults think before committing to this ‘institution of marriage’. Gone are the days when marriage was primarily seen as a social obligation. People now increasingly view it as a personal choice, which is reflected in the rising age of marriage, a growing preference for love marriages over arranged marriages, and a greater emphasis on compatibility and emotional connection.

 

Raksha Swami, says, “I see marriage as when two individuals create a beautiful life together with respect, care, love and valuing individualities and boundaries, and encouraging each other in professional endeavours.” Raksha adds that she believes one should get married only when they are completely ready for the commitment and says that some people now feel apprehensive about marriage because they might have seen failed marriages around them and many think that it might restrict them from the life they want for themselves with added responsibilities involving two families. While there is a general trend towards more individualistic views on marriage, the experiences and opinions of youth vary widely. “While many are hoping to tie the knot someday they are not in a rush to do it because priorities have shifted, academic and career opportunities have expanded,” stated Nirmiti Shende. While there is certain appreciation of the simplicity of marriages of previous generations when people got married to someone chosen by the elders of family, today’s youth believe that getting to know someone before marriage helps in understanding compatibility, life goals, and the other person’s perceptions about different aspects of life. “I believe that before deciding to marry someone, the partners should be good friends first.. They should ask themselves that if they remove the idea of marriage from the equation, are they good friends first,” says Shubham Sharma. “Nowaday, in urban culture, more importance is given to knowing one’s partner before committing to marriage. Earlier, stereotypical gender roles were attached in household chores but now young married couples understand and practice sharing household responsibilities,” says Vanshika.

 

When asked, which factors influence the decision to get married, majority of them said, along with shared goals, compatibility and love, they also consider financial stability as one of the crucial factors. For many, decision to marry is influenced by the relationships they observe around them, of parents, family members, and friends, that can shape their expectations of marriage. Witnessing happy, healthy marriages can inspire individuals to seek similar partnerships, while observing dysfunctional relationships can make them hesitant of commitment. Akash Kashyap expresses, “I firmly believe that family relationships often play a significant role in shaping one’s perspectives. People reflect on their parents’ or close family members’ marriages when forming their own views, whether those relationships were good or challenging”. Nowadays, many couples mostly in urban settings contemplate on whether or not to have children. It involves weighing personal desires, life goals, and practical considerations like rising living and education costs. “Discussing about having children can be uncomfortable initially, but such conversations are needed before marriage, because it is a big decision to raise a child, one has to be mentally prepared and ready to compromise on many personal lifestyle choices,” says Shubham.

 

Among all these evolving opinions, there is also a widely observed concerning trend of the rising divorce rates, and impulsive decision to separate. Seema Surve, Police Inspector and Incharge of Bharosa Cell, shared that major reasons of conflict among married couples are family interference, trust issues, extra marital affairs, and lack of mutual understanding. “I have observed both positive and negative aspects of modern relationships. Some young couples have a strong connection and are content, while others find themselves in disagreements over trivial matters, such as not allowing the other partner to use their mobile phones,” remarked Surve. Surve added that family upbringing plays a significant role in how individuals interact with their partners.

 

The values instilled in childhood and the types of relationships witnessed growing up can impact their future relationships. Premlata Patil, Counsellor at Bharosa Cell, says that it is evident that with every generation, notions of relations and marriages keep evolving. Amidst these changing marital norms in society and increasing divorce rates, she does not hold back from praising young married couples of today for understanding importance of sharing household chores, co-parenting, making financial decisions together, roles that were often gender-specific in previous generations.