By Biraj Dixit :
 
“Raste mein phir vahi pairon ka chakkar aa gaya
January guzra nahi tha ki December aa gaya” 

The instant and humongous ‘daad’ that Rahat Indori Saheb received after pronouncing these lines in his inimitable style vouched for the accuracy with which they gave vent to that general emotion. ‘Pairon ka chakkar…’ January se December!!!’ Just days before we were celebrating the New Year! No, actually months have passed in what seems like days. An age in what seems like years! Has someone pressed that fast forward button? ‘Carpe Diem’, ‘Live life King size’, ‘Savour every moment’ and many more such golden statements seem like words only for WhatsApp status display (which too disappears after 24 hours). In truth, one full year has passed by while all I did was run around in the circles of the routine. Two centuries ago, Ghalib wrote… “Dil dhoondhata hai phir vahi fursat ke raat din…” and it still strikes a chord. Still humanity is at it ‘…dhoondhatein hai phir vahi…’ ‘Fursat’ is now the heart’s desire! When I close my eyes trying to remember moments of the life gone by, I become a little petrified. There have been achievements, overcoming of rather hard troubles, reaching of milestones, basking in glory, and yet the most my mind reconnects is to those ‘fursat ke raat din.’

 

 

December in school life was a favourite month as it brought along Christmas holidays. Unlike the Diwali holidays, when there was a lot to do, Christmas was a relatively free time. The cold weather added to the joys of doing nothing. I did count stars until I got bored and became agreeable to the general understanding of them being innumerable… had noticed when each blade of the fan disappeared as it gained speed until three became one… had focused on a single ant as it moved briskly carrying the burden of entire world on its back… had felt the soft breath of my Maa lying on her lap. Absolutely nothing noteworthy in these moments yet they are the ones that have extracted a feeling of longing in my head and heart. “…Dil dhoondta hai phir vahi fursat ke raat din.” Alas! the world that we have created for ourselves is all about ‘pairon ka chakkar’… from January to December. Early in life I had discovered that how-so-ever happy a situation doing nothing was, it found very little acceptance in the busy world.

 

So, when the world asked, “What are you doing?” “Nothing,” was not a very bright answer. For, in that very instant, the denizens of the world would ensure that you do something. Our Constitutions may declare us a free being, the world has always conspired to keep us otherwise. So, when asked, I replied in more agreeable words like ‘thinking’, ‘musing’ or ‘contemplating.’ The world, I gathered, is more vary of ‘thinking’ people than those doing nothing. You can imagine, when someone like Socrates is told to drink poison because of his ineffable act of ‘thinking,’ a 6-year-old’s chance at ‘thinking’ hardly had any takers. “Do something constructive,’ I was told and made to run errands. Running errands is what I do till date, under the garb of many official, semi-official, unofficial, organised, unorganised and invisible duties. So institutionalised I have become in this business of running errands that even the most ‘fursat ke chand pal’ have found me running errands mentally! Even on a beautifully lazy morning when the world around is not around to disturb my musing, my institutionalised mind plays tricks on me.

 

“What do I make for breakfast? What to wear to office? To remind the maid of blah, blah, blah…, to get this and that, to do this and that, to blah, blah, blah…! Gosh! Life has rendered me incapable of doing nothing. That ‘pairon ka chakkar’ has eaten up my January to December! “…How time flies!!!...It seems like yesterday…!” Why does it seem like yesterday when it is not. It should appear back in time when it happened. Where have the in-between moments gone? Why no memory of them? It seems even the brain, the mind, the heart refuse to carry the burden of memorising the unnecessary burden of errands. It is just a chakkar after all. The brain enjoys the stillness of nothingness, the mind desires moments of true relaxation, the heart wants ‘fursat.’ I think it is time for me to debrief myself of the world’s necessities and niceties.

 

To teach myself once again to enjoy the pleasures of doing nothing. I have tried and failed. I intend to rise again. They say that the entire creation came from nothingness. In nothingness it will vanish. So, what’s the harm in practicing doing nothing? Oh! It takes a lot of practice, I assure you. I am trying and failing but since I am sure of only this life and it is fast-forwarding itself each time a January comes racing into December, I must now learn to hold its reins and take it to where I want, at the speed I want. No galloping, just a beautiful gait! So friends, …December aa gaya!!!. Here’s wishing you liberation from ‘Pairon Ka chakkar’….and “…bahot saare fursat ke raat din.” n