“My baby wakes up as soon as I lay her on the bed. What should I do? “How did you make your baby comfortable with other caretakers? I need to start work next month.” “I’m facing a lot of hair fall. I feel like I will go bald soon. What can I do?” “I’m starting solids soon. What should I start with? Should I follow baby-led weaning or traditional weaning?” It takes a village to raise a child. Ask any mother, and she will agree. Earlier, these villages were found quite literally, in homes, and neighbourhoods. When we were growing up, we would spend a lot of time playing downstairs or in our neighbours’ houses. In joint family settings, the village was present within the home. In increasingly nuclear households, we, as mothers, don’t have that privilege. This leads us to look for villages in the virtual world. Since we also want to raise our children using modern methods and, often being single children or having just one sibling, we tend to seek support from peers experiencing similar situations. From navigating the challenging postpartum period to receiving tips on feeding — whether it’s breastfeeding or formula — and starting solids, sleep training, and much more, virtual support groups have become a new mother’s go-to village in the 21st century.

 

The questions mentioned are some of the most common ones you can find in any new mother’s support group. Personally, I found abundant help through these groups on Facebook and WhatsApp, where one can ask questions without fear of judgment and receive instant replies from the thousands of moms who are either going through the same dilemma or have already passed that stage. Take 32-year-old Rohini’s example. The first-time mother had a complicated pregnancy that led to her facing severe postpartum depression. Her friend coerced her to join a WhatsApp group for new mothers, where she found instant answers to her many queries. “I was unable to breastfeed and was pressured to give formula by the elders at home. This gradually led to a reduction in my breast milk, adding to my guilt. I found many contacts for lactation consultants through this group, through which I worked on increasing breast milk supply,” Rohini tells. The best part though, she adds, is the sisterhood she found through this group. While a set of mothers advised her on how she could improve her milk supply, another set also assuaged her by saying there was nothing wrong with giving formula to a baby. “They made me understand that a fed baby is what matters at the end of the day, which took a huge load off my back. I could vent and share the tiniest of troubles, and there was always somebody to listen.

 

This group has been one of the biggest blessings,” she shares. The ABCs of feeding Just like the WhatsApp group Rohini is a part of, there are several others on the platform. While many such groups have shifted to WhatsApp due to ease of access, this movement of sorts really began on Facebook, sometime in the 2010s. The first question that any new mother has after the birth of her child is about breastfeeding, which makes the requirement of such a group essential. Adhunika Prakash found herself alone in Ireland as she navigated the questions around breastfeeding and motherhood. She found support on an Irish breastfeeding group on Facebook. Not finding a similar one in India, she started ‘Breastfeeding Support For Indian Mothers’ (BSIM) in 2013, which has grown into one of the largest communities online, with almost 1.5 lakh members. “I felt lonely and had no one to talk to about the challenges I was facing. I found that many of my friends and colleagues too had similar queries. Fact is, no one talks about how difficult the journey of breastfeeding and motherhood is. I started this group for mothers to unite and get answers,” Adhunika shares. The community, through experts such as lactation counsellors and educators, offers tips and accurate information on lactation, how to wean off formula, and more. Besides the experts, other mothers too weigh in and share tips through their own experiences. BSIM was named one of the top five Facebook groups in the world in 2018, thanks to its reach. Besides creating a community, BSIM also conducts webinars and offers one-on-one lactation consultation services.

 

The most common questions that the group receives are around breastfeeding post six months, and weaning off formula, informs Adhunika, who has also written a book called Breast Potion, advocating breastfeeding. Just like BSIM, there are groups for formula-feeding mothers too. ‘Formula Feeding Moms of India’ was conceptualised to provide mothers with a guiltfree, happy community with no judgment. Here, queries around the quantity, formula brands, methods, feeding accessories and more are discussed. “A happy mother will have a happy child. A fed baby is the best. Whether it’s out of choice or compulsion, do what is best for your child and you,” says Swati, who formula-fed her baby. Just as mothers begin finding a rhythm with feeding, the next big challenge is starting solids. There are two popular methods followed among new mothers — one being traditional weaning, which is typically the parents feeding the child, also called spoonfeeding, and the other being baby-led weaning (BLW), where the baby is encouraged to eat by himself or herself right from the beginning.

 

This transition is a very confusing time for new mothers — right from deciding which method to follow, what to offer, how much to offer, when to offer, and much more. This is where Facebook groups — like Traditional Weaning (Introducing Solids) India, with over 1.4 lakh members, and Baby Led Weaning for Indian babies – Recipes and Techniques, with over 45,000 members — and many WhatsApp groups again come to the rescue. In addition to these groups, many nutritionists and new mothers are offering useful tips and tricks on Instagram through live sessions and even providing quick replies to their direct messages. Gunjan Dewan is one such content creator who shares tips on starting solids through her Instagram page @tickletales_. The new mother started this page in June 2023, after her son Kiaan turned six months old. She wanted to fill the gap in information around starting solids and BLW in India.

 

She also started a Tickle Tales Mommy Support and Daddy Support group on Telegram. “Most of the information available around BLW is very Western and doesn’t work around the Indian context. I read a lot of books and blogs, and attended workshops by child nutritionists to help me feed my son. I decided to share this with other mothers,” she shares. The most common questions she gets are about how to get their babies to eat more, how to know if their baby is eating enough, and how to deal with toddler tantrums! For the 55,000 followers, Gunjan provides healthy recipes, meal plans, and tips to make their babies’ journey into solids a smooth one. ■