NOBODY in this world can ever love you more than your parents. They nurture, they care, they sacrifice, they love unconditionally, the true givers. As we cherish parents’ selfless love on Global Day of Parents, we delve deeper into the factors why many fail to reciprocate the love and care towards parents in their twilight years. Over two decades ago, a Nagpur-born doctor started a mission to ensure a dignified and caring atmosphere for those who battle loneliness and isolation in their own homes. Dr Sanjay Ugemuge, ENT and cancer surgeon and founder of NGO Sanjeevan Socio Medical Foundation (SSMF), was always into social service, thanks to his long association with Baba Amte and Prakash Amte. Dr Ugemuge once told Baba Amte that he wants to do something for the society. Amte then advised him to work for the well-being of the ‘wisdom bank’, the term he used for ‘the elderly’. This is how ‘Sanjeevan Vridhashram’ (Home for Senior Citizens) came into being in 2003 under SSMF. “As a doctor, I knew that many senior citizens are mistreated in the society and families.

 

In the first month itself, there were 20 admissions. I was not sure whether to be happy or sad. As it reflected the dark side of our society and the declining moral values. Parents happily lose their financial security, prioritise children out of love and affection but as they age, they often feel unloved and unwanted. This breaks them down emotionally. Love and care is all they crave for,” asserts Dr Ugemuge. He explains how many members at Sanjeevan, out of 24 hours, almost 23.59 hours just ponder what was their fault and why they ended up here despite giving their everything. “I have done 23 funerals and it tears my heart to say that many people do not even turn up for their parents’ funeral. The situation was worse during COVID pandemic. Fortunately, there are a few families who support and stay in touch with their loved ones as they have to leave them behind out of compulsion, adds Dr Ugemuge.

So, how they make the elderly feel comfortable in a new surrounding amidst emotional turmoil? “'We keep them busy by giving them small chores they are good at. They lend a hand in gardening, cooking, financial matters, handling patients, conducting prayers etc. This way they get along really well and stay occupied. Talking about the positive aspect of the shelter for the aged, Dr Ugemuge points out, “Old age home is like a platform for the elderly. There are many unfulfilled dreams and desires that they never pursued while doing their duties. Here, they are free to do anything and everything they want. Things they could never attempt due to social obligations and restrictions. Being of the same age group, they vent their emotions, share things and relearn to live happily, feel loved amidst strangers. Despite all the hurdles, hardships and stress, Dr Ugemuge continues to win hearts with his never give up attitude. He firmly believes ‘where there is a will there is a way’. “When I visit Sanjeevan, I talk to the plants we had planted together, the walls that have heard countless stories, wiped tears and answered the prayers, I feel privileged that I could hold their hand and care for them when they had no one. Today, everyone is in a tearing hurry. They find solace in materialistic things and try to shirk their responsibilities but one must never forget that life is a vicious circle, what we sow we reap. When we can worship deities and believe in the superpower, then why not ‘serve the living Gods’ and reciprocate the warmth and love they truly deserve,” he concludes.n