“It was just a joke, don’t overreact.”
“Relax, I was just kidding.”
“You’re too sensitive! Can’t you take a joke?" 

If you have ever heard these lines then chances are that someone said something hurtful and then brushed it off as a joke. It’s funny how people say the meanest of things and the moment you react, the problem is with you. A joke is supposed to be funny for everyone involved. It is meant to make people laugh, not make anyone feel small. But sometimes, humour can be cruel. People may point out your insecurities, laugh at your expense, and yet when you get upset, you are “too sensitive”.

 

A friend makes a sarcastic remark that stings, and if you bring it up, you are said to be overreacting. People have mastered the art of saying something mean and then shrugging off the responsibility by calling it a joke. People can get pretty insensitive when they make someone the butt of their jokes just for the sake of becoming the life of a party or a gathering. That is downright mean and is often not dealt with seriously, for the person at the receiving end does not want to look like a spoilsport. And the worst part, society often sides with the one who jokes and not the one who got hurt. A casual insult disguised as humour can stick with someone for years. One never knows when casual remarks about dumbness or bad looks become labels-ones that are hard to shake off. And yet, when someone finally speaks up, the defence is always the same: “Don’t take it personally.”

 

The biggest problem with the ‘just kidding’ pattern is that the person making the joke gets to decide whether it was offensive or not. But shouldn’t the person on the receiving end have a say in this. Think about it, if you accidentally step on someone’s foot, you don’t get to decide if it hurt them. So why is it any different with words? So told that hurts, then a “Sorry” should be the ideal response, isn’t it? Humour shouldn’t look for a victim. So if someone’s humour constantly puts others down, maybe they’re not funny at all, maybe they are just being mean. It is no fun being the butt of someone’s jokes all the time. So next time someone tries to make you feel bad and then laughs it off, don’t let them. If it hurts, speak up for your feelings matter.