Insight

The secret of success is making your vocation

 By T G L IYER:  Robert F Kennedy said, “Few will have the greatness to become History itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. In the total of all these acts will be written the History of the Generation”. The greatest good we can do for others is not to share our riches, but to reveal their riches. Always try to reveal the self esteem of others. Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility on him and to let him know that you trust ..

Relationships need to be managed

By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I am a middle-aged woman and I feel very lonely and depressed. My marriage is on the rocks for multiple reasons and I cannot get along with him. He has bad habits and several other things make me feel that nothing is going well. I was working, but now I stay at home due to family matters. I need to meet you and seek counselling, but I am afraid of it. I don’t want medicines either as I am already on medicines for other problems.What should I do? I find no relief anywhere. ..

Early assessment and intervention is vital

By RITA AGGARWAL:  Q. I need help for my son who is in Std 5. He was an average student in lower classes and did well in arithmetic and some subjects. He always showed disinterest in writing although his writing is good. Now, he doesn’t show much interest in studies, but likes to go to school to play. He is active in sports and games and loves outdoor work. Tell him to study and he gets irritated. Can this be treated. Please advise.  Ans. Yes, such conditions in children are termed ..

Even good people make mistakes

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I am a good student of Class XII. But lately, I do not feel like studying and want to sleep all the time. I get tired easily and worry a lot. I don’t have any bad habits, but there is a girl in my class who is trying to distract me and tries to catchmyattention. She isgood in sports,butaverage in studies. But she cannot be reason for my condition. My parents are worried. Can you help me? I want to score well in exams. Ans.There could be many reasons ..

PUT SOMETHING INTO LIFE & Get Everything You Want

  By T G L IYER: Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative art for a friend who listens to us when we move forward. We want to sit in their radius. When we are listened to, it creates us, and makes us unfold and expand. Active listening is one of the highest forms of giving. Stefen Covey encourages listening with the intent to understand. Through our choice to actively listen, we enhance our awareness, generate more options and provide a foundation on which we can build relationships. ..

STING THAT IS AILING BIHAR

 By ANAGHA SAWANT & SHAILENDRA KUMAR SINGH:  Over 160 kids die in less than 2 months due to acute encephalitis syndrome. The sudden spike in cases exposes the lackadaisical approach of primary health centres in addressing the issue and mounts pressure on hospitals For the past FEW weeks the situation at Sri Krishna Medical College and Hospital (SKMCH), which is a well-known hospital in Muzaffarpur, is simmering with tension. It is a hospital where the children from the district ..

Spotlight syndrome

  By RITA AGGARWAL:  Last column on the ‘toppers syndrome’ enjoyed good feedback and today we have another syndrome for you to appreciate. Its about the single child syndrome and I am sure you know what I am going to talk about but do not brush it aside lightly for it is going to attract a lot of attention in the coming decade as more and more parents opt voluntarily for a single child. The demographic necessity of reducing the population to a one-child norm is good ..

Convince your parents

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I feel disturbed madam. One boy in my class stares at me all the time. Till now I ignored him always and my friends mocked him several times. But now, it is bothering me and I am surprised. I don’t even like the boy and in fact hate him for his behaviour. I wanted to report him to our sir, but I did not do so. What should I do? Please help me.  Ans. He is certainly sick and has disturbed you too. He does not seem to be playing games for he was doing ..

IF GOD IS WITH YOU WHO CAN BE AGAINST YOU?

 By T G L IYER:  A BRAHAM LINCOLN: used to say: “I do the best I can. I keep going if the end brings out the right thing. What is said against me won’t matter, if I try to do the right thing. If I am wrong nothing will make it right. All the water in the world will not sink my boat if it does not get inside. If I want to succeed I have to strike a new path. Remember, that the kite rises against the wind and therefore don’t be afraid of opposition. Happiness is ..

FROM SMART WATER PUMPS TO DRONES: Technology Is Changing Indian

  By ALOK KIRLOSKAR: Disruptive technologies and innovations in application engineering are fast changing farming practices in India. From preparing the land to sowing, to reaping and mentoring of the crop, everything today can be done with the aid of sophisticated technology driven systems. Irrigation also has become highly evolved with sophisticated fluid management systems that are well suited for meeting the challenges of bringing fresh water to the farmer’s fields, irrespective ..

Desk Workouts That Work

 By DR SATYEN MEHTA: People in all walks of life have realised that exercise play a significant role in their lives. Regular exercise often leads to healthy and longer life. This is one primary reason why young adults, health enthusiasts and people who wish to live healthy life indulge in different forms of exercises. There are some who like working out in the gym, while others may opt for yoga or Zumba. There are other different forms of activities such as swimming, gymnastics, running, ..

Responsibility of both

By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I am married and have a son aged 2.5 years. My wife doesn’t show much interest in intimate activity and I feel starved. The frequency of intimacy is around 1-2 times a week that is only also at my behest. She never initiates on her own. Even during the activity, she doesn't play any active role. I have frequently asked her the reason for her indifference and she says she doesn’t find it interesting. Please guide us in this matter. Ans. This is a not so uncommon ..

IT IS WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT BEHIND THAT COUNTS

 By T G L IYER: In World War-II Sergeant Paratrooper HAROLD RUSSEL lost his hands in an accident during training. Naturally, he was overwhelmed by a sense of failure and defeat! He was terrified at the idea of going through life with steel-hooks instead of real hands. He dreaded leaving the hospital someday and going out among the people again. He did not care much whether he lived or died. Such feelings come to everyone when disaster strikes suddenly and unexpectedly. One day CHARLEY MCGONEGAL ..

Motive, Motivation and Goals

  By RITA AGGARWAL:  ‘Why should I do this? Why should I exert? Why should I study hard? What will I do when I have a good life? What will happen if I become the best? What will I achieve if I become successful?’ One youth is constantly obsessed with the thought -why should I live? Such questions are important to give us the reasons and the purpose for doing something -they give us the motive. A clear motive or motives gives us the clear goals to set in our daily lives and ..

Keep away from callous cads

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I.m deeply in love with a guy who had been pursuing me on and off for last six years. I used to be extremely uncomfortable around him and could barely look at his face and talk. I’m shy, reserved and don’t have any close friends. He understood my traits very well. He kept on sending texts with romantic undertones like how he wants me to take up his responsibilities, move slowly towards the final goal, pestering me to accept my feelings for him first and ..

VALUES EDUCATIONAN INNOVATIVE WAY TO TEACH

  Over the past 15 years, as the Living Harmony series has evolved to focus on contemporary concerns, the major trends relevant to values education for young children, the designers contend, would be:  Social trends: * The increasing importance of maintaining religious (communal) harmony and countering intolerance * Increasing awareness of the need to be inclusive (socially, culturally, etc.) and also with the disabled (differently abled) persons Trends in scientific and environmental ..

Set career goals

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I have a celebrity (Model&Serial Star) friend on social media. We talk everyday. He treats me as his close friend not a fan. Suddenly I received a request from his close friend which I accepted. But the new friend started making unjustified demand of Video calls (in objectionable condition). I blocked him. I think my ceelbrity has a hand in all this, though he has never talked dirty but always appreciated my beauty. Should I block him too?  Ans. I have written ..

WE MUST DO THE BEST WE CAN WITH WHAT WE HAVE

 By T G L IYER:  It is not by regretting what is impossible that true work is to be done but making the best of what we are. It is not by complaining about what we don’t have, but by using well with what we have. What we are and where we are is God’s doing, though it may be man’s misdoing and the wise way is to utilise disadvantages and convert them in our favour. When the best things are not possible do the second best and it will shine. Greatness of soul consists not ..

SIBLING RIVALRY

 By RITA AGGARWAL:  No, it is not normal for all siblings to suffer from rivalry with each other. Although it may be true that every sibling experiences a pang or too here and there and feels inferior to their other sibling but this does not become a mental health condition worth talking about. The disorder sets in when the situation is not recognised as such by parents and it may escalate into a major concern. Anuj was beginning to lose out on studies and with his falling grades he was ..

SucceSS beginS in the mind and it iS a S tate of mind

 By T G L IYER: Think of your attitude as the mental filler through which you experience the world. Some people see the world through the filler of optimism while others see it with pessimism. The person with the negative attitude thinks I can’t. The person with the positive attitude thinks I can. The person with the negative attitude dwells on problems. The person with the positive attitude thinks of solutions. The person with the negative attitude finds fault with others where as ..

‘Everything I Need To Know I Learned In The Forest’

 By VANDANA SHIVA: Today, we need to overcome the wider and deeper apartheid-an eco-apartheid based on the illusion of separateness of humans from nature in our minds and lives.   M y ecological journey started in the forests of the Himalaya. My father was a forest conservator, and my mother became a farmer after fleeing the tragic partition of India and Pakistan. It is from the Himalayan forests and ecosystems that I learned most of what I know about ecology. The songs and poems ..

Exploring The Realm Of Romance & Travel

  By DR RASHMIN DESHMUKH; Someone has rightly said love is food for life and travel a dessert. Debutant Pratiksha’s feel good fiction Love Wanders The Globe has the thing stamped on almost every page. The story set in the modest city of Nagpur is about Priya and Rohan who enter wedlock through an arranged marriage and share a common passion to travel. The two romantics ardently explore dream destinations around the globe and in the process discover newer facets of their beautiful ..

Online aptitude test available

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. We are quite friendly with our kids. I have left my teaching job few years back for the sake of my daughters and have kept the socialization to minimal level. I don't see any reason behind the lack of focus and motivation. But, I have to keep her redirecting towards the goal. Sometimes she behaves well but often gets irritated. She is not interested in counseling session either. She herself analyses success and failure of others with full wisdom but does not apply them ..

Negotiate with parents your needs

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I am a class IX student and I am confused about my career. My parents have high expectations from me. I know I am a good student but lately I don’t feel like studying. I want to make lots of friends and have fun like my classmates are doing. I am not allowed to visit friends and stay at their house at night. My classmates enjoy late night parties and I sit at home and cry. I want to go out for dinners and dances. I love dancing a lot and sing well too. They ..

Talk To yourself and say The righT Things

 By T G L IYER:  M arlon Brando once said of a cinema actor “He seems to be superhuman in his endless struggle to inform himself ”. Such learning means personal growth and making the most of your opportunities. Successful people believe that their education has only just begun when they leave school or university. They continuously learn from their failures as well as successes. They are fanatical in their belief that every experience is a learning opportunity.  It means ..

Changing Farmers’ Lives

   By MOHAMMED SHAFEEQ: A t a time of widespread agricultural distress caused by successive droughts, unremunerative farming and debt-trapped rural economies, a young man with his mobile app is showing how change can be brought in the life of farmers at the grassroot level. In 2016, V Naveen Kumar, who had no personal knowledge of agriculture, was so moved by the suicide of a farmer in a village in his native Warangal district of Telangana that for the next three months he ran around ..

RIVER, INTERRUPTED!

   By MADHUMITA MOOKERJI   Dams are opening up floodgates of ecological imbalance, says river cyclist Samrat Moulik who is on a mission to save the rivers and conserve water. The writer catches up with the man who pedalled from Gangotri to Padma in Bangladesh to raise awareness...   W ater is fast becoming as precious as gold in many regions of the world today due to shortage. Environmentalists warn that unless water is used more sagaciously when there is still time, ..

A DARGAHWHERE SCORPIONS DON’T STING!

 By ASIM KAMAL:  The bitterly fought election campaign might have a sting but scorpions in a dargah here don’t - not even when you pick them up. Syed Sharfuddin Shah Wilayat’s dargah in western Uttar Pradesh’s Amroha is where long held beliefsin the power of miracles meet everyday rationality. And where the lines of what you know and what you see sometimes begin to blur. Locals say the dargah (shrine) is the everyday miracle of poisonous scorpions that don’t ..

Only when it is dark enOugh, can yOu see the stars

 By T G L IYER:  Have you ever had a good look at some of the beliefs you collected while growing up? These beliefs have conditioned you to respond to things in a certain way and these responses have led to certain choices. A lot of people are unaware of why they respond to things the way they do and make their choices without thinking. The problem is that these choices may not be the right ones to make to achieve success. Our aim is to achieve results and not retreat backwards in any ..

Mount Everest: Marred with ugly footprints

  Since Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay first summitted Mt Everest in 1953, more than 4,000 mountaineers have reached the highest point on earth. They probably never imagined that the giant they summitted would one day turn into a dumpster. When recreational mountaineering skyrocketed in the 1980s, the ugly side of the business started becoming apparent. Every year, as the spring develops, Everest is swamped with tourists. Tour groups, together with teams of Sherpas, unite to begin ..

Boost Your Mental Flexibility

 By MEGAN COATLEY: When you think about flexibility as “something I do” and not “who I am,” you will start to realise that you can make lasting, positive changes that may open up opportunities for some relaxation, laughter and joy amid the daily grind.  When you first start making room for healthy habits in your busy life, being a stickler can be beneficial - setting a workout schedule, planning your meals in advance, saying no to things that get in the ..

Changing attitudes and norms

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I recently cleared class 12 exams and preparing for JEE Advance now. What are the courses offered for research in Physics after 12 Std. Actually I am interested in both Physics and Mathematics. So is there a way I can study both of them in the same course? Or would I have to study both of them separately? Can I get this course at IISC Bengaluru or IISER Pune, Kolkata etc. Kindly help me.  Ans. It is good to know that you are interested in pure science and ..

WE ARE HERE TO LOVE ANOTHER

By T G L IYER: Some people as they achieve success in life build their ego and then have an insatiable appetite to feed that ego. It is important for all of us to have an ego but not an ego problem.There is a saying “Bigger the ego,smaller the bank balance”. There is also an Australian saying “Be nice to people on the way up, because you meet the same ones on the way down again”. This is dramatically true as you go through life! Everyone has an amazing high and low a..

The virTues of PaTience

By RITA AGGARWAL:    In the din of the large open style office hall, a man was pouring over a sheet of papers for long hours, silently, quietly doing his work unperturbed by the noise even during the tea break. As a new comer to this office he stood out starkly asIwatched him closely for a week. He maintained the same demeanour on work and was actually quite friendly when approached. I thought he would be a loner and a recluse but far from it. I could not help satisfyin..

Suicidal ideation has to be taken seriously

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. My child stammers a little. We have consulted the doctors and they say he is fine. Can this be cured? Does psychology help? Please guide.  Ans. Stammering has strong psychological components. If all is fine medically and doctors have said he is fine then it has to be psychological in nature. We can assess the situation and then treat him too. You must bring him once at least to understand the problem and then to suggest remedies. Emotional disturbances can ..

Water Crisis: A Nemesis

  By ASIT BHAGAT: We all recognise that fast growing Cities need a sustainable supply of usable water. However with global water resources remaining constant but its quality and its management deteriorating, water is mankind’s nemesis.  The sight of women carrying pots to fetch water from far away distances becomes common, especially in the countryside, during summer. Miles have to be walked to fetch water as all possible sources in the neighborhood go dry or the government ..

The purpose of life is To do someThing original

   By T G L IYER:  W e seek to avoid failure at all costs. In doing so, we miss valuable life lessons. We are exposed to approval and failure early in life. We seek our parent’s approval and thereafter the teacher’s approval and thereafter the Boss’s approval and so on. It only means that we seek the approval of everyone and rarely our own approval. The interpretation that failure is painful and approval is divine is our usual interpretation. Remember, ..

Rise of the COMMON MAN

   R enowned author Vasant Kallola whose book ‘‘It’s okay to fail, my son’ has achieved a status of National Best Seller, is ready to take readers to the postMahabharata era with his latest book Chiranjivi - The Beginning. Set in the backdrop of War of Mahabharata, ‘Chiranjivi’ tells an interesting story of a sage, Ashwatthama who had been living through the curse of Shri Krishna. He was living a miserable life with a permanent wound on his forehead ..

Underwater Museum For Adventurers

   N ear the northern Greek island of Alonissos lies a remarkable ancient shipwreck: the remains of a massive cargo ship that changed archaeologists’ understanding of shipbuilding in antiquity. Now this spectacular find is to become the first ancient shipwreck to be made accessible to the public in Greece, including to recreational divers. Greece’s rich underwater heritage has long been hidden from view, offlimits to all but a select few, mainly archaeologists.  Scuba ..

Accept the bitter truth

    By RITA AGGARWAL: Q I am a 20-yr-old girl and I am feeling extremely low since a month. My boyfriend cheated on me and even my best friend ditched me. Both are different cases, but I feel used physically and mentally. I have entrance exam for my PG course in May and I am not able to concentrate on studies. I had asked him several times that if he was seeing another girl, but he never told me. I feel bad that even after being so honest and frank with him, he cheated ..

HABIT RULES THE UNREFLECTING HERD

   By T G L IYER:  For all our insight, obstinate habits do not disappear until replaced by other habits. No amount of confession and no amount of explaining can make the crooked plant grow straight. It must be trained by the gardener’s art. Thanks to the world we live in, we have developed many habits that are the direct result of using our enthusiasm rather than our spirit. When a majority of society members are raised and persuaded to believe in the illusion of ego, ..

INDIAN WEDDINGS BIGGER & FATTER

    By POOJA SALVI: “Intricately designed stages in large, palatial gardens, rituals by a breezy seashore, hosting hundreds, even thousands of guests in international locations is Big Fat Indian Wedding. ” I ntricately designed stages in large, palatial gardens, rituals by a breezy seashore, hosting hundreds, even thousands, of guests in international locations is the Big Fat Indian Wedding. PoojaSalvi digs a little deeper into the planning of such weddings, ..

THE IMPATIENT INDIAN

  By RITA AGGARWAL:   S ee the young minds in spinning dreams. ‘I want to become an IAS officer so that I can earn lots of money!’ ‘The best business is U-Tube and there is no need to study for high fancy degrees!’ ‘I want to do business and my parents don’t understand for they are into jobs and don’t understand- I will take loan and do it’. It is the quick and easy route that many are looking into- the mega bucks, the name, ..

Humanities is a great subject

  By RITA AGGARWAL:  Q. I am totally confused about my career. My parents want me to take up Commerce and become a CA, as my father is one. But I am interested in Humanities and like English literature. No one supports me and instead tease me for it. I am very unhappy and confused. Is it a bad career option? Ans. Arts and humanities are great courses to learn and study. It has many subjects as an option. English language, as well as other languages are great to opt for and make ..

Teachings of giTa in our life

    By RADHANATH SWAMI: A t the time of death Hiranayakashipu’s other sons could not do anything to help him but by Prahalad’s prayers he was liberated. Sentimental affection may givealittle superficial peace of mind, butit dies with the body.Real love gives person eternal nourishment and it lives forever. So yes, we should love, we should learn how to really love our parents, really love our children by prayers to Krishna as the unifying force between us. Affection ..

The only ceiling in life is The one you give iT

The only ceiling in life is The one you give iT..

Take shortest route to your goal

   Q. My son, in Std 4, has developed a bad habit of telling lies. He is not interested in studies and just wants to play. We are thinking of putting him in a hostel, but he is refusing to go. Should we put him in a hostel or bring him for counselling? We stay near Amravati and can come when you say.  Ans. The primary thing to do is to find out the nature of the problem and make a diagnosis of causes and effects.You have mentioned two issues- one that he is not interested in studies ..

WHEN YOU RELAX you hear more of your INNER VOICE

  By T G L IYER,  T he world has changed around us. It is not anybody’s fault and we can’t get mad at anyone. All we can do is to understand what is happening and respond to the situation to the best of our abilities. In a scene in Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid they were trying to escape the Federal Marshals who were tracking them. Butch and Sundance found themselves at the edge at the jagged cliff and Bullets were flying over their head. Butch looked into the ..

REHWA SOCIETY 300-year handloom ode to Narmada

   By YOSHITA RAO,  Septua g e narian Chandrabai wakes up each morning at 6:30am, bathes, cleans her house, prepares food for her family, all before walking a mile to the handloom production unit, where she spends the next eight hours weaving Maheshwari shawls and stoles. Her task list includes weaves that are narrower in width (in comparison to other shawls or saris) with easier designs on bright colours. But even with cataract surgeries in both her eyes, she still manages ..

BE AN ASSET NOT A LIABILITY

  By RITA AGGARWAL,     P erhaps this is a language all would understand - assets and liabilities! If I say ‘maturity’ I have reason to believe that even 10 year olds today feel they are matured! ‘Don’t tell me - I know everything’, ‘don’t teach me, don’t advice me’- for I know it all syndrome exists in this age of technological catastrophe. Kids think no end of themselves, teenagers behave like adults ready to ..

Making friends is a skill

 By RITA AGGARWAL,  Q. I am an introvert by nature, but I don’t feel good about it. I want to make new friends as I feel lonely, but my nature stops me and I always over think things. I am unable to control my mind. I have some family issues and whenever I give some advice to my mother, she says I am not practical, which irritates me a lot. Please help me. I can’t come for counselling.  Ans. If you don’t like your introversion you will have to work hard to change ..

People ask you for criticism, but they like praise

   By T G L IYER, Mark Twain said: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great make you feel that you too can become great. Some people in life take you down a notch or two. That is because they feel inferior to you. The only way they can build themselves is by tearing you down. They can’t see themselves accomplishing anything great and so they don’t want you to either. Always try to build relationship ..

Web Of INSPIRATION

  IT’S A BUG’S LIFE pider silk, already known as one of the strongest materialsforitsweight,canbeused to create artificial musclesor robotic actuators, scientists say. According to researchers from Massachusetts Instituteof Technology in US, the resilient fibres respondvery strongly to changes in humidity. Above a certain level of relative humidity in air, they contract and twist, exerting enough force to potentially be competitivewith other materials being explored as actuators ..

A WEIGHTY RESOLUTION

    Men and women from different fields talk about how they took the resolution to stick to their diet plans and how it benefited their physical and mental health In 2008, Tyra Banks took down trolls who had body shamed her after a photograph of her in a swimsuit had gone viral. She ended her stirring speech on The Tyra Banks Show with the ultimate take-down to everyone who had criticised her for her body - “Kiss my fat a**!” A decade later and women are still ..

Do not delay treatment of depression

  By RITA AGGARWAL,  Q. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but Ifeel scared all the time. I’m afraid to wake up as I feel pain in my chest. I am even scared of sleeping as I feel like I’m being pushed from the sky. I’m scared of something, but don’t know what. I feel low and cry all the time. I don’t like bright light.When sunrays enter my room, it becomes yellow-orange in colour and this petrifies me. Ifeel terrified and this ruins my mood. ..

@Andamans.com

Green! Blue. Aquamarine. Turquoise. Grey! Take away the colours from God’s palette and paint the skies and ocean of the Emerald archipelago - The Andamans, the dream destination of many a visitor to this heaven of tourism! It is a one and half hour flight from Kolkata to Port Blair. As the plane glided down and cascaded over the little city, the first view from above seemed ethereally fascinating ..

IMAGINATION Is The Highest Kite ONE CAN FLY

      By T G L IYER, Without doubt, you take one of the major steps in determining your level of happiness in life when you gain clarity on what is your purpose in life. Life purpose is hard to define as a single element because our life is made up of work, family, health and so on. Most people understand the term to mean the one thing they believe they are on this planet for.You might see your purpose in life as doing community work to help the poor. You might believe ..

The Amazing Journey Of Araku Coffee

       By MOHAMMED SHAFEEQ,   F rom tribal hamlets to Paris, Araku coffee has come a long way and is set to lure the taste buds of New York’s coffee aficionados this year. Started as a livelihood project ..

Assess your level of aptitude

        Q. I am going to appear for class 10th exams and I have to register into an entrance test institute like before Mar 14. I am confused about institutes as I want to pursue car designing as career. I’m not good at maths, so I think 10 + 2 in science then 5 years integrated course in the same in DYPDC will begood option. Kindly guide meabout integrated course.  Ans. This is a good question. Sometimes a student can feel stuck in an integrated ..