Over thinking and imagining situations of the future (reflecting your desires) and refreshing the good moments of the past is what you are describing as your state of mind. People avoid you and you don’t have good friends is another reality of concern to you. Well, sometimes a simple solution to this complex sounding problem could be to get into ‘action mode’ and get yourself engaged in activities of your interest. Make a list of things you would enjoy doing to some extent even if not greatly, such ..

A t any point of time we should never underestimate our power to change ourselves. A Positive Attitude is a person’s passport to a better tomorrow. Think, Act, and Talk with enthusiasm, and you will attract positive results. When we think, speak and act in ways to support success, we are firing on all cylinders. That is the way to achieve great success in our lives. Our attitude is our window to the world. Better keep ourselves clean and bright since we are the windows through which we should see ..

My wife is having an affair and I know it from some time. I waited patiently and also spoke to her indirectly. She does not care for my feelings and she takes me for granted. I now get very angry and irritated over small things. The problem is I love her very much. I don’t want to separate from her but make her realise my love for her.We had a good life together for many years and I encouraged her to be independent and make friends. She goes to work in an office part time and met this guy there. I’m ..

Researchers have characterised the musical language of German composer and pianist Ludwig van Beethoven for the first time, applying statistical techniques to unlock recurring patterns. ResearchersfromtheEcolePolytechnique FederaledeLausanne(EPFL)inSwitzerland found that very few chords govern most of the music,aphenomenon that is also knowninlinguistics,whereveryfewwords dominate language...

 By RITA AGGARWAL : Q. Ma’am, I wanted to pursue Aeronautical Engineering, but then I opted for Computer Engineering. However, my PCM is below average and I am not eligible for engineering. On top of this, my caste validity is not ready so this year I can’t get admission. Now I’m confused. Should I try again next year or should I take a gap of a year and prepare for CET and try again for admission. I don’t know if my decision is right or wrong and I am worried how ..

 By T G L IYER:  Robert F Kennedy said, “Few will have the greatness to become History itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. In the total of all these acts will be written the History of the Generation”. The greatest good we can do for others is not to share our riches, but to reveal their riches. Always try to reveal the self esteem of others. Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility on him and to let him know that you trust ..

By RITA AGGARWAL:  Q. I need help for my son who is in Std 5. He was an average student in lower classes and did well in arithmetic and some subjects. He always showed disinterest in writing although his writing is good. Now, he doesn’t show much interest in studies, but likes to go to school to play. He is active in sports and games and loves outdoor work. Tell him to study and he gets irritated. Can this be treated. Please advise.  Ans. Yes, such conditions in children are termed ..

  By T G L IYER: Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative art for a friend who listens to us when we move forward. We want to sit in their radius. When we are listened to, it creates us, and makes us unfold and expand. Active listening is one of the highest forms of giving. Stefen Covey encourages listening with the intent to understand. Through our choice to actively listen, we enhance our awareness, generate more options and provide a foundation on which we can build relationships. ..

  By RITA AGGARWAL:  Last column on the ‘toppers syndrome’ enjoyed good feedback and today we have another syndrome for you to appreciate. Its about the single child syndrome and I am sure you know what I am going to talk about but do not brush it aside lightly for it is going to attract a lot of attention in the coming decade as more and more parents opt voluntarily for a single child. The demographic necessity of reducing the population to a one-child norm is good ..

 By T G L IYER:  A BRAHAM LINCOLN: used to say: “I do the best I can. I keep going if the end brings out the right thing. What is said against me won’t matter, if I try to do the right thing. If I am wrong nothing will make it right. All the water in the world will not sink my boat if it does not get inside. If I want to succeed I have to strike a new path. Remember, that the kite rises against the wind and therefore don’t be afraid of opposition. Happiness is ..

 By DR SATYEN MEHTA: People in all walks of life have realised that exercise play a significant role in their lives. Regular exercise often leads to healthy and longer life. This is one primary reason why young adults, health enthusiasts and people who wish to live healthy life indulge in different forms of exercises. There are some who like working out in the gym, while others may opt for yoga or Zumba. There are other different forms of activities such as swimming, gymnastics, running, ..

 By T G L IYER: In World War-II Sergeant Paratrooper HAROLD RUSSEL lost his hands in an accident during training. Naturally, he was overwhelmed by a sense of failure and defeat! He was terrified at the idea of going through life with steel-hooks instead of real hands. He dreaded leaving the hospital someday and going out among the people again. He did not care much whether he lived or died. Such feelings come to everyone when disaster strikes suddenly and unexpectedly. One day CHARLEY MCGONEGAL ..

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I.m deeply in love with a guy who had been pursuing me on and off for last six years. I used to be extremely uncomfortable around him and could barely look at his face and talk. I’m shy, reserved and don’t have any close friends. He understood my traits very well. He kept on sending texts with romantic undertones like how he wants me to take up his responsibilities, move slowly towards the final goal, pestering me to accept my feelings for him first and ..

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I have a celebrity (Model&Serial Star) friend on social media. We talk everyday. He treats me as his close friend not a fan. Suddenly I received a request from his close friend which I accepted. But the new friend started making unjustified demand of Video calls (in objectionable condition). I blocked him. I think my ceelbrity has a hand in all this, though he has never talked dirty but always appreciated my beauty. Should I block him too?  Ans. I have written ..

 By RITA AGGARWAL:  No, it is not normal for all siblings to suffer from rivalry with each other. Although it may be true that every sibling experiences a pang or too here and there and feels inferior to their other sibling but this does not become a mental health condition worth talking about. The disorder sets in when the situation is not recognised as such by parents and it may escalate into a major concern. Anuj was beginning to lose out on studies and with his falling grades he was ..

 By VANDANA SHIVA: Today, we need to overcome the wider and deeper apartheid-an eco-apartheid based on the illusion of separateness of humans from nature in our minds and lives.   M y ecological journey started in the forests of the Himalaya. My father was a forest conservator, and my mother became a farmer after fleeing the tragic partition of India and Pakistan. It is from the Himalayan forests and ecosystems that I learned most of what I know about ecology. The songs and poems ..

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. We are quite friendly with our kids. I have left my teaching job few years back for the sake of my daughters and have kept the socialization to minimal level. I don't see any reason behind the lack of focus and motivation. But, I have to keep her redirecting towards the goal. Sometimes she behaves well but often gets irritated. She is not interested in counseling session either. She herself analyses success and failure of others with full wisdom but does not apply them ..

 By T G L IYER:  M arlon Brando once said of a cinema actor “He seems to be superhuman in his endless struggle to inform himself ”. Such learning means personal growth and making the most of your opportunities. Successful people believe that their education has only just begun when they leave school or university. They continuously learn from their failures as well as successes. They are fanatical in their belief that every experience is a learning opportunity.  It means ..

   By MADHUMITA MOOKERJI   Dams are opening up floodgates of ecological imbalance, says river cyclist Samrat Moulik who is on a mission to save the rivers and conserve water. The writer catches up with the man who pedalled from Gangotri to Padma in Bangladesh to raise awareness...   W ater is fast becoming as precious as gold in many regions of the world today due to shortage. Environmentalists warn that unless water is used more sagaciously when there is still time, ..

 By T G L IYER:  Have you ever had a good look at some of the beliefs you collected while growing up? These beliefs have conditioned you to respond to things in a certain way and these responses have led to certain choices. A lot of people are unaware of why they respond to things the way they do and make their choices without thinking. The problem is that these choices may not be the right ones to make to achieve success. Our aim is to achieve results and not retreat backwards in any ..

 By MEGAN COATLEY: When you think about flexibility as “something I do” and not “who I am,” you will start to realise that you can make lasting, positive changes that may open up opportunities for some relaxation, laughter and joy amid the daily grind.  When you first start making room for healthy habits in your busy life, being a stickler can be beneficial - setting a workout schedule, planning your meals in advance, saying no to things that get in the ..

By T G L IYER: Some people as they achieve success in life build their ego and then have an insatiable appetite to feed that ego. It is important for all of us to have an ego but not an ego problem.There is a saying “Bigger the ego,smaller the bank balance”. There is also an Australian saying “Be nice to people on the way up, because you meet the same ones on the way down again”. This is dramatically true as you go through life! Everyone has an amazing high and low a..

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. My child stammers a little. We have consulted the doctors and they say he is fine. Can this be cured? Does psychology help? Please guide.  Ans. Stammering has strong psychological components. If all is fine medically and doctors have said he is fine then it has to be psychological in nature. We can assess the situation and then treat him too. You must bring him once at least to understand the problem and then to suggest remedies. Emotional disturbances can ..

   By T G L IYER:  W e seek to avoid failure at all costs. In doing so, we miss valuable life lessons. We are exposed to approval and failure early in life. We seek our parent’s approval and thereafter the teacher’s approval and thereafter the Boss’s approval and so on. It only means that we seek the approval of everyone and rarely our own approval. The interpretation that failure is painful and approval is divine is our usual interpretation. Remember, ..

   N ear the northern Greek island of Alonissos lies a remarkable ancient shipwreck: the remains of a massive cargo ship that changed archaeologists’ understanding of shipbuilding in antiquity. Now this spectacular find is to become the first ancient shipwreck to be made accessible to the public in Greece, including to recreational divers. Greece’s rich underwater heritage has long been hidden from view, offlimits to all but a select few, mainly archaeologists.  Scuba ..

    By POOJA SALVI: “Intricately designed stages in large, palatial gardens, rituals by a breezy seashore, hosting hundreds, even thousands of guests in international locations is Big Fat Indian Wedding. ” I ntricately designed stages in large, palatial gardens, rituals by a breezy seashore, hosting hundreds, even thousands, of guests in international locations is the Big Fat Indian Wedding. PoojaSalvi digs a little deeper into the planning of such weddings, ..

  By RITA AGGARWAL:   S ee the young minds in spinning dreams. ‘I want to become an IAS officer so that I can earn lots of money!’ ‘The best business is U-Tube and there is no need to study for high fancy degrees!’ ‘I want to do business and my parents don’t understand for they are into jobs and don’t understand- I will take loan and do it’. It is the quick and easy route that many are looking into- the mega bucks, the name, ..

    By RADHANATH SWAMI: A t the time of death Hiranayakashipu’s other sons could not do anything to help him but by Prahalad’s prayers he was liberated. Sentimental affection may givealittle superficial peace of mind, butit dies with the body.Real love gives person eternal nourishment and it lives forever. So yes, we should love, we should learn how to really love our parents, really love our children by prayers to Krishna as the unifying force between us. Affection ..

   Q. My son, in Std 4, has developed a bad habit of telling lies. He is not interested in studies and just wants to play. We are thinking of putting him in a hostel, but he is refusing to go. Should we put him in a hostel or bring him for counselling? We stay near Amravati and can come when you say.  Ans. The primary thing to do is to find out the nature of the problem and make a diagnosis of causes and effects.You have mentioned two issues- one that he is not interested in studies ..

   By YOSHITA RAO,  Septua g e narian Chandrabai wakes up each morning at 6:30am, bathes, cleans her house, prepares food for her family, all before walking a mile to the handloom production unit, where she spends the next eight hours weaving Maheshwari shawls and stoles. Her task list includes weaves that are narrower in width (in comparison to other shawls or saris) with easier designs on bright colours. But even with cataract surgeries in both her eyes, she still manages ..

 By RITA AGGARWAL,  Q. I am an introvert by nature, but I don’t feel good about it. I want to make new friends as I feel lonely, but my nature stops me and I always over think things. I am unable to control my mind. I have some family issues and whenever I give some advice to my mother, she says I am not practical, which irritates me a lot. Please help me. I can’t come for counselling.  Ans. If you don’t like your introversion you will have to work hard to change ..

  IT’S A BUG’S LIFE pider silk, already known as one of the strongest materialsforitsweight,canbeused to create artificial musclesor robotic actuators, scientists say. According to researchers from Massachusetts Instituteof Technology in US, the resilient fibres respondvery strongly to changes in humidity. Above a certain level of relative humidity in air, they contract and twist, exerting enough force to potentially be competitivewith other materials being explored as actuators ..

  By RITA AGGARWAL,  Q. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but Ifeel scared all the time. I’m afraid to wake up as I feel pain in my chest. I am even scared of sleeping as I feel like I’m being pushed from the sky. I’m scared of something, but don’t know what. I feel low and cry all the time. I don’t like bright light.When sunrays enter my room, it becomes yellow-orange in colour and this petrifies me. Ifeel terrified and this ruins my mood. ..

      By T G L IYER, Without doubt, you take one of the major steps in determining your level of happiness in life when you gain clarity on what is your purpose in life. Life purpose is hard to define as a single element because our life is made up of work, family, health and so on. Most people understand the term to mean the one thing they believe they are on this planet for.You might see your purpose in life as doing community work to help the poor. You might believe ..

        Q. I am going to appear for class 10th exams and I have to register into an entrance test institute like before Mar 14. I am confused about institutes as I want to pursue car designing as career. I’m not good at maths, so I think 10 + 2 in science then 5 years integrated course in the same in DYPDC will begood option. Kindly guide meabout integrated course.  Ans. This is a good question. Sometimes a student can feel stuck in an integrated ..