‘Career planning should start early’

Q. I am a student of first year college and I am confused about my career. I have taken Commerce, but I feel it is not my line of choice. I don’t know what I want to do and I never enjoyed my studies in school. I was more of an outdoor person enjoying meeting people, sports, games and parties. My father is a businessman and wants me to join the business and therefore asked me to take Commerce. I seem to enjoy travelling photography and seeing new cultures. I truly don’t know what I am supposed ..

‘Get an online aptitude test done’

Ans. I can appreciate your dilemma about enjoying reading books and writing stories and wanting to make a career in the same area. Your parents are interested in pushing you into a course of engineering and hence admitted you to IIT coaching. Since becoming an author and a successful one at that is a high- risk career option, most parents feel anxious about making it a career choice right away. There are many ways of going about it. One way is to get into English language and literature..

‘Follow your instinct in career choices’

S.M.K Q.: At 16 years of age, I am a very confused person. I did very well in my 10th CBSE exam despite the coronavirus pandemic. Then everything got stalled. But at home, a storm raged about my possible career choice. My family wants me to pursue Engineering -- IIT in particular. They have been pushing me to join this or that tuition class and then prepare for national entrance tests. My elder sister is pushing ..

‘Devi’ne Intervention

I t is this unwavering faith in the Divine Mother that gives many of us the strength to keep striving in life inspite of failures, big or small. But then, it is probably also the blind faith among some of us that makes them commit sins sans any remorse. Clinging on to positivism, given the world that we live in today, we definitely need the former clan to grow stronger. And what better time to seek Ma Durga’s blessings than the Durgotsava. In a land brimming with festivals, there are none like the ..

‘Sharing burden works for joint family’

Q1: My brother is in Class 10. He does not study at all, rather goes out whole day with some bad boys. He keeps our mother’s phone all the time with him and does not give it back to her. He back-answers, uses abusive words, does not listen to parents. So many arguments take place between my mom and him.Whenever this happens, I get stressed out. Sometimes, I start crying and over-react at times.I don’t understand w..


M illions saw the apple fall. But Newton asked why. Millions were aware of the fact that a chewing gum can easily be removed with a piece of paper and that this paper with the gum, after a point of time sets and hardens. But it was young Binish Desai, all of eleven years old then, who pondered and wondered why. His curiosity got the better of him, and it’s not without reason that we say that curiosity is the engine of achievement. For, it was this hard ball made of a mixture of chewing gum and paper ..

‘Meditate, exercise to stay calm’

Q1: My father is 65 years old and is suffering from diabetes and hypertension. He has not been well for a month, and was admitted to a hospital last month for a few days. He has not recovered still. This is making me very worried about him. I am not able to have good night’s sleep and get bad dreams of death. This is affecting my health. I am unable to concentrate on my work. How do I come out of this situation?..

Happiness is with and within you

Q: You would say that everything appears to be fine with me -- a good job, apparent good health, a decent house, a fairly happy marriage, a little nice kid, and a career that often brings good news of pay hike or promotion, even in these COVID-19 times. I go to work -- from home. I spend whatever time with family. Yet, I have lost interest in things. I have lost appetite, and get disturbed when my wife pushes me to eat. My nights are spent staring in the darkness as I cannot enjoy sound sleep. I feel ..

Taking a gap in education is not helpful

Q.: Me and my friend had break-up with our partners and we told each other about that. He still follows ex-girl friend who does not respond to him at all. She loves some other guy with whom, too, she is uncertain. But my friend’s behaviour for me is bothering me sometimes as he is happy with me chatting all ..

Every Setback Is A Comeback

A wife on her deathbed called her husband and whispered “Keep romance in the lives of our children”. It was an impressive parting message which, as we reflect upon it, is deep with wisdom. She knew that all who meditate seriously upon life must know that the passing years make a terrific assault upon the zest of man’s spirit unless he exercises care. Napoleon said: “Men grow old quickly on the battlefields; they do in life also unless they are vigilant. Charles Lamb once declared: “Our spirits grow ..

Clear your mind

Q1. I was in a relationship for three years. Then she moved out of the city and one day she told me that I am not fit for her future, because she wants normal life consisting of husband and kids, which being a girl I cannot give her. She was never committed to me. But I was very confident about my love. That I thought would be impossible for her to get over me. I was wrong. She made out with a guy in her city and probably she is in love with him. I am doing fine. I am just a normal person with people ..


“S uccess is measured by the price a person is willing to pay. A winner is simply a man or woman who has become all that he or she ever dreamed of becoming.” Police Service in India has not grown out of the needs of the people. The Police was set-up and has evolved out of the institutions designed to serve the holding of the British and safeguard their interests at a low cost. Common people believe that the Police have been created and are expected to act as the conscious keeper of society but that ..

THINGS DON’T CHANGE, You Change The Way You Look

Although we consider criticism to be negative, it can actually be positive in helping us improve ourselves. In fact, no one enjoys criticism. We would like to believe that whatever we do is right even though we know that it is not true. When we do make mistakes, we would rather pretend that no one has noticed. But people do notice and sometimes they point out our errors. It may be their intention that we don’t repeat those mistakes in fu..

BEHAVIOUR Is The Mirror In Which One Shows His Image

G eorge Bernard Shaw wrote: “You see things, and you say ‘why?’ Others dream things that never were and say ‘why not?’” Most of us have far more ability than we think of coasting through life is fine as long as you are downhill but if you are going to climb a mountain then you better start your engine. It is not that people don’t want to; they don’t know how? If we show them how they will certainly pick up and do it. Mediocrity is for the mass..

‘Maintenance of mental health must’

Q. My friend left me and is always showing anger when I call her. She says not to disturb her as she is studying hard and wants to become a big person. She is very ambitious and was planning to go abroad for higher education. Even in the lockdown condition, she continues to say India is not so good as foreign universities and she must go out. I don’t want to leave India and I have to look after my parents as I am a single child of my parents. They love me and I care for my mother a lot. My father ..

Growth Is The Only Evidence Of Life

I saw once a board on the table of my colleague: “At the end of our lives we don’t regret the things at which we failed but regret the things we wished but never attempted”. The four principles to be followed in life are a clear goal, a definite plan, confidence and no fear of failure. The goal is more important because without it we are lost. But, equally vital is banishing the fear of failure. If we can develop a no-fear mentality we will be able to begin our journey and proceed ahead to reach the ..

When Galileo Underwent Quarantine!

I talian astronomer-physicist Galileo Galilei had some torrid time in the 1630s- he wasinpoorhealth, faced a house arrest and a trial due to a controversial book and also had to undergo quarantine for almost a month becauseoftheragingplaguethen,recounts a new book. Galileo and the Science Deniers is a historical biography on the life of Galileo by astrophysicist Mario Livio which gives a glimpse into the life of a “manwho was intellectually radical and well ahead of his time”. Galileo’s journey as ..

Repetition Of The Same Thought Makes Everything Possible

The mountaineer who does not cease moving when he reaches the top of the mountain can go only in one direction downwards. Like the Sun at its glory, zenith can only descend. Under conditions of desire, enlightenment cannot be obtained as it cannot occur. Our life is an odyssey. We are always on our way into something or out of something. It is not aimless, chancy wandering. It is the movement of fire on a mountain which travels in an unrelenting pursuit of its own fuel, a search for its continuing ..

‘Making difficult choices’

Q. I am 34 years old. I was an average student and working in the Middle East since 2017. My father passed away 10 years ago. I have faced many money-related difficulties in my life. We are a family of four siblings consisting of an elder sister, elder brother and a younger brother. Only my elder brother is married. These days, I am under a bit of a pressure to get married, but finding a life partner is not easy. Moreover, in my company, we are entitled to 60 days leave after completion of two years ..

Charkhole: Whispering Sky & Silent Mountains

When our train crossed Kisanganj in Bihar and reentered Bengal, I had no reason to notice any change in landscape because in this part of geography it is hard to differentiate between Bengal and Bihar. Here the zigzag railway track heading to Siliguri frequently runs between two bordering states. Soon we started getting ready to disembark at NJP station from where our onwards journey to the hills was planned. Suddenly there was enough to explode in joy. We all were in celebration mode to catch the ..

SUCCESS MEANS Different Things To Different People

There is the story of the Zen Master who considered a thief to be one of his teachers. He stayed with the thief for three months. Every night the thief would go out to steal and he would return empty handed. But he continued his efforts because he believed that one day he would be successful. It became clear that anyone who had the patience that the thief had was bound to succeed. There was a father who used to play with his son everyday, when he returned from office. One day he was not in a mood ..

‘Break out of loneliness’

Q. I am a 2nd year student of Bsc having Physics, Statistics and Mathematics as the subjects. I want to pursue my career as Marketing Executive or Sales or Advertising or a Newscast or any similar type of career. As I have great interest in these areas and fortunately I have a good personality and communication skills. Please guide me ma'am which way should I choose? ..


There is something extremely belligerent about the way development is imagined in today’s world. The intent of development is so consumed by individual measures of profitability that the greater good is hardly ever on the radar. Not only are these extremely myopic futuristic strategies, but also highly self-centered. The turning away of one’s focus from the bigger picture or simply by putting on blinders of ignorance will not push the problem away from the human race. In fact by doing so, the threat ..

‘Be grateful for what you have’

Q. I am locked in a relative’s home, which is in Delhi and I live in Bengal. I was on a visit for a short time and I and my wife got stuck here. It is comfortable and there is no problem here, but I am feeling somewhat depressed as the months go by. I was busy in my home with my friends and neighbours and would do little work with my business. Actually, I am retired and my children manage the business, but they would consult me from time to time. Now they are managing well and I am bored here. Nothing ..

To Succeed, We Must Believe That We Can

Once a great painter was sitting and throwing stones into a wayside pool and watching the play of light and shade upon the ripples. An ordinary man moving towards the town saw him and envied him. The ordinary man has to work throughout the day but this fellow was wasting his time. The painter was doing nothing constructive. The ordinary person murmuring and mumbling went to town and was returning after performing his task. He was amazed to see the same painter sitting near the same pool and throwing ..

Weddings 2.0

W eddings across the globe have been put on hold for the time being, resulting in a ‘Domino Effect’, thanks to the pandemic. Most weddings are expected to be pushed to the latter half of 2020 orthe beginning of 2021. However, on the brighter side, in lieu of the nationwide lockdownto-be-weds can utilise this time to better plan their wedding once the virus threat is down to negligible. The ‘New Normal’for celebrating weddings in the post-COVID-19 world is going to be different. With social distancing ..

‘Plan for future, not worry for future’

Q. I am in job but now I fear they are dropping people one by one. They are asking us to take less salary and many have said yes and some have said no Ithink. My anxiety has gone up and I cannot sleep. I have a family to take care of. What should I do? Should I look for some kind of business?..

Create The Habit Of Going The Extra Mile

A lmost any important task can be used as a vehicle for personal development. Work can be a path for personal growth and development. We can choose to make any of the tasks as a spiritual discipline, a discipline in the service of our own evolution. We can take the principles that build our personality and use our work as an arena in which to apply them with the result that both performance and personality will rise. We can take the same principle and apply them in any relationship that will flourish ..

‘Make each one responsible’

A Mother Q. My son is in college and due to Covid he is at home with us and doing nothing. I keep telling him to study a bit daily, otherwise he will lose touch with subjects and will spoil his habit too. His father does not say anything to him at all for he is also doing nothing sitting at home. He does not even talk to him or discuss with him future situation. All they do is eat, sleep and watch TV the whole day. Please advise...

‘Make your own choices’

Q. I am confused about my career. I had taken Science on the advice of parents and teachers, but I realise it is not for me. I have not done well in my Std 12 exams and do not expect much. I want to switch to Commerce, but how to convince my parents? They are very keen I go to IIT and that is making me sleepless and nervous. They have made it an issue with their friends that I will go to IIT. I was a good student till Std 10 and so they think I am Einstein. I must die for science and live for it. ..

‘Career time’

Q. I would like to state my issue. I fell for a respectable man four years ago. We met through family. I was swept by him because I found him a balanced person. We continued with chats for more than a year. He never committed. He was a divorcee, who didn't want to take the plunge again, but I liked his friendship as he was intelligent and grounded. Gradually he started losing interest. For the past 19 months he has read my posts, but not responded. I feel traumatised. My requests have no effect. I ..

‘Follow Covid-19 guidelines and relax’

Q.I am a patient of anxiety disorder and have few obsessions too.I have become very restless and worried with this pandemic. My sleep has reduced and I worry for me and my family. I am trying to control the situation, but are there ways of helping people like me. I am sure everyone is anxious, but I am more so...

‘Getting rid of mobile addiction’

Q.Ma'am, I hadmyBoardexams (PCB) now I am preparing for NEET exam. Earlier, when I confronted my parents about my interest of pursuing in Medical field, they disapproved, demoralised and were highly critical about it. Now they want me to do that when I changed my mind. Ma'am I want to join Civil Services, please tell me which subjects to choose after 12th. Thanks!..

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

Who and what we surround ourselves with has a great deal to do with creating an environment that either champions us to be all we can be or sabotages us in this effort. When people support the values in daily life, we can say that we have succeeded. Every day that you live you are either experiencing by choice you are a victim of your environment.You are either living out of your values or at the whims of your ego. You are the source of everything that shows up around you. Most of us want to be more ..

Why rapes will not stop in India?

Four hangings as splints for a fracturing land. In caste-inequity normative India -- where mythology is becoming history, politically-inconvenient histories being pathologised, “antinational” students baton-whipped, minorities being demonised, rights selectively denied: all, viscerally-approved by majoritarianism -- its as if these hangings ..

‘Clear the career confusions’

Q. Ma’am I have appeared for my std 12 (CBSE) exam but had a compartment in maths subject. Due to some issues I was not able to appear for the maths paper and now I want to take admission again in std 12. Can I take admission again in CBSE std 12 or should I opt for State Board. I alsowant to prepare for CATexam. Can you please suggest to me which subjects and stream should I choose now, so that it may help me in my CAT later exam? Also in which board should I complete my std 12? Please guide me...

‘Connect to the real world’

Q. I am a guy, age 20. I have this feeling which doesn’t go away, unless I make myself busy. This feeling asks for affection, a human touch (hugs, holding hands, etc.), talking to someone without feeling insecure, etc. This feeling, this state, just doesn't goes away, why? Does day dreaming/wishful thinking about some imaginative and nonexisting situations makes me feel better? Probably, yes. Also, being asocial kind, I don't have many friends as there are very few people I find interesting. Many ..

Break bad habits for good

Like most of us, I spend way too much time online. Part of this is for work, but if I’m honest, a sizable chunk consists of mindless scrolling. I typically succumb during periods of boredom, though the stress of a deadline can lead me down a rabbit hole. Let’s say I’m, oh, I don’t know, researching a story on changing bad habits. Soon enough, I’m pinning an air-fryer recipe on Pinterest and buying a sherpa-fleecelined scarf. And I’ve tried willing myself to make today the day I don’t check social ..

‘Drink Exams, Eat Exams & Sleep Exams’

Yes, its exam time and tension is in the air! You don’t mention what level of studies you are in- whether school or college? Of-course it does not matter for an exam is just that for all appearing. Students who are fairly disciplined with their studies on a regular basis are better equipped to appear for the final exam. Their stress levels are low as their preparedness is on a higher level. Students with high levels of stress suffer due to various reasonsone is irregular disciplined study, second ..

We Are In A Race We Did Not Choose

Pythagoras who lived a little more than 500 years before Jesus Christ and whose genius ushered in the golden age of Greece taught his disciples to live for the day only. He urged them never to worry about anything especially what was over and done with which never can be undone! One of his most famous saying was “Leave not the mark of the pot upon the ashes”. In other words, wipe out the past, forget it, start the day afresh. It was the only way to achieve the peace of the contented mind. Long before ..

‘Choose career of your liking’

Economics is an evergreen subject and much in demand now with the globalization scene. Its scope is vast and the job opportunities are many too. Besides the Niti Ayog (what was called the Planning Commission earlier) where you could work, the banking sector is a huge sector for employment of economists. They work as financial risk analysts, financial planners and mathematics is a combination to have along with economics...

Follow your inclinations

Q. I am a 28-year-old man. My parents are looking for a match for me though I have said ‘no’ to many already. I am sorry about rejecting girls and it is bad to do so, but I have not been able to say yes to anyone. They are all good girls but I don’t know what I want from a girl? Can you help in such matters? I live outside Nagpur and will plan a visit if you say so? My family is annoyed with me and rightly so...

Talk To Yourself To Say The Right Things

A sk any achiever the secret of his success and he may say something like this: “Well, I had the right credentials education, experience and worked hard making minimum mistakes. I also happened to be at the right place at the right time. It may be true but what made him was that he became indispensable to the employer because he developed the right attributes to attract the employer’s trust and truth in transactions and performance. He played his leadership roles and willingly accepted difficult assignment..

Do not suffer, seek help

Q. I am 36-years-old and since childhood I have lot of fear in my mind when I have to meet strangers and specially talk to women/girls. Even though I am working now, the fear of people continues. I feel I might do something wrong if I take a step forward. Now due to this, I have developed problems in my stomach. I read your column and thought I should come and meet you. Please help me madam...

Learning to Love Myself

Bundled up in the cloak of obscurity, Trying to hide behind anonymity, My anxious self wallows in doubt, What’s uglier, my face or soul? What’s prettier, my fury or self-loathe? Brittle is my confidence that once soared with pride,..

The truth behind the ‘excuse makers’

It was a memorable audio tape I was listening to. I got the example of a sparrow that stimulated my thoughts and brought me back to another article. It was not only the example but something we do require to accomplish our goals and understand our internal world as well as the external world. Let’s examine something about our behaviour out of knowing this example. Everyone is acquainted with the sparrow. As we all know, sparrows have a nest to stay as we have a home. Here the learning begins. When ..

RSVP, a genuine aspect we need to follow

It is our culture that we make sure that all the events we host or are a part of take place in the best of the ways possible. The devising of the programme begins with sending beautifully created invites to our knowns. What do we write in it? Well, all the minutes as well as necessary details for the invitee to make it easier for them to reach us. In the very end of the card, we mention RSVP and the name, address and contact details of the hosts are inscribed. Right? But ever wondered why is this ..

Forget perfection and AIM FOR IMPROVEMENT

R eal is not how you are made. It is a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a very long time not just to play with you but really loves you, then you become real. It does not happen all at once but takes a long time. That is why it does not happen to people who break easily or have sharp edges or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real most of your hair has fallen, your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints. But these things don’t matter at all because ..


When a child is born, the only source of security and survival are the significant others around him.The grown ups have to take care and ensure no harm comes to the little one.The instinct to protect the offspring is very strong and parents even in the animal world go to great lengths to keep their babies safe. There are so many videos on the net of animal mothers risking their own lives to protect their young ones.Yet, beyond a point; this parental behaviour must give way and is replaced by a different ..

Handle with a mature mind

Q. My son is in Std 10, and preparing for his Board exams. But he is not studying with concentration and is engrossed in TV and mobile games. He was a good student till Std 8, but I don’t know what has happened to him now. He does not listen to me and tells me not to worry. He also keeps arguing with me. But I know he is not studying properly and I don’t know if he will pass with good marks. He is also confused about his future career plans and keeps changing them. Should I bring him for counselling?..

Troubles, Like Babies, Grow Larger By Nursing

All of us complain at one time or another. If you are wondering, you complain too much, simply ask your friends, relatives or associates about it. They will let you know! Complaining does not mean that you are searching for solutions. It does not refer to occasions when you share your life experiences and disappointments with others. Part of being human is sharing our experiences and supporting each other. That has been the true tradition of living a real life which is smooth and soothing in nature. ..

Depression disrupts good behaviour

 ■ By RITA AGGARWAL :     Q. I am losing my sleep and feeling irritated all the time. I feel like running away from home. I love my mother, but don’t like my father although I love him. He keeps shouting many times for small reasons and gets violent with my mother. She tries to keep calm, but she has started crying a lot. I feel helpless and want to take my mother away. My father has no bad habit of drinking or smoking, but bullies my mother a lot. He is getting worse. ..

Bondage & Liberation Are of The Mind Alone

Virgil (70-19 BC) wrote: “They can because they believe they can”. Good thoughts are no better than good dreams if you don’t follow through. Education is an admirable thing but it is well to remember that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. Also others cease to interest us when we find their limitations. Sometimes we dislike other people only because we dislike ourselves. So take care to correct it in ourselves. Also ideas are a capital that bears interest in the Hand of Talent...

Nothing succeeds like success

Over thinking and imagining situations of the future (reflecting your desires) and refreshing the good moments of the past is what you are describing as your state of mind. People avoid you and you don’t have good friends is another reality of concern to you. Well, sometimes a simple solution to this complex sounding problem could be to get into ‘action mode’ and get yourself engaged in activities of your interest. Make a list of things you would enjoy doing to some extent even if not greatly, such ..

Nurture Your Mind With Great Thoughts

The idea that we become what we think about has been expressed as the law of Dominant thought. This means that there is a power within each of us that propels us in the direction of our current dominant thoughts. There is nothing on Earth you cannot have once you have mentally accepted the fact that you can have it. The Bible says ‘If you believe you can achieve’. A positive belief system is the starting point for the achievement of any goal. The results you achieve in life starts with a positive ..


A t any point of time we should never underestimate our power to change ourselves. A Positive Attitude is a person’s passport to a better tomorrow. Think, Act, and Talk with enthusiasm, and you will attract positive results. When we think, speak and act in ways to support success, we are firing on all cylinders. That is the way to achieve great success in our lives. Our attitude is our window to the world. Better keep ourselves clean and bright since we are the windows through which we should see ..

Changes in behaviour are significant signs

Q. My son aged 10, does not want to go to school from the last 15 days. We have tried everything and even consulted our family doctor, with no success. He simply refuses to go and complains of stomach aches when we force him. The doctor says he may be facing some psychological issues. Do I need to come to Nagpur for counselling? Does he need treatment? Please advice? Ans. Yes, it would be better if you bring him to Nagpur and we can talk to him in person. Counselling is a safe method for treatment ..

Unwilling adjustments lead to resentments

My wife is having an affair and I know it from some time. I waited patiently and also spoke to her indirectly. She does not care for my feelings and she takes me for granted. I now get very angry and irritated over small things. The problem is I love her very much. I don’t want to separate from her but make her realise my love for her.We had a good life together for many years and I encouraged her to be independent and make friends. She goes to work in an office part time and met this guy there. I’m ..

Take Advantage Of OPPORTUNITY And That Is LUCK

View every temporary defeat as a stepping stone to bigger and better things. Every problem you solve, every obstacle you overcome, puts you that much closer to achieving your final goal. If you try to anticipate every problem in advance, if you worry about everything that could go wrong before you even begin, you will never try anything. Life is a lot like climbing a mountain. If you expect to get from the base to the summit in a few easy steps,..

Beethoven’s Music Decoded

Researchers have characterised the musical language of German composer and pianist Ludwig van Beethoven for the first time, applying statistical techniques to unlock recurring patterns. ResearchersfromtheEcolePolytechnique FederaledeLausanne(EPFL)inSwitzerland found that very few chords govern most of the music,aphenomenon that is also knowninlinguistics,whereveryfewwords dominate language...

Solve the problem

 Q. I’m confused about by studies. Should I opt for MSc Psychology after BA Psychology. Or should I opt for MA? Is there any syllabus difference in them which may create difficulties in completing PG degree? Please suggest some good universities/colleges offering MSc and MA in Psychology.  Ans. You can either choose an MSc or and MA in psychology. There is a slight difference in syllabus for a science course can have a little bit of the biology and neurology. But it will not create ..

Good careers are made with good habits

 By RITA AGGARWAL : Q. Ma’am, I wanted to pursue Aeronautical Engineering, but then I opted for Computer Engineering. However, my PCM is below average and I am not eligible for engineering. On top of this, my caste validity is not ready so this year I can’t get admission. Now I’m confused. Should I try again next year or should I take a gap of a year and prepare for CET and try again for admission. I don’t know if my decision is right or wrong and I am worried how ..

Your right to live

 BY RITA AGGARWAL : Q. I am a 21-year-old girl student. My father has been drinking since he was 16 years old. My parents relationship is not working. My father was paralysed 5 years ago, but now he is right. My mother is the sole bread winner of the family. My father can work, but just doesn’t want to. My father needs money for his monthly medications and even my younger sister is studying. We are facing financial problems, even though my mother is trying very hard. On top of this, ..

The secret of success is making your vocation

 By T G L IYER:  Robert F Kennedy said, “Few will have the greatness to become History itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. In the total of all these acts will be written the History of the Generation”. The greatest good we can do for others is not to share our riches, but to reveal their riches. Always try to reveal the self esteem of others. Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility on him and to let him know that you trust ..

Relationships need to be managed

By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I am a middle-aged woman and I feel very lonely and depressed. My marriage is on the rocks for multiple reasons and I cannot get along with him. He has bad habits and several other things make me feel that nothing is going well. I was working, but now I stay at home due to family matters. I need to meet you and seek counselling, but I am afraid of it. I don’t want medicines either as I am already on medicines for other problems.What should I do? I find no relief anywhere. ..

Early assessment and intervention is vital

By RITA AGGARWAL:  Q. I need help for my son who is in Std 5. He was an average student in lower classes and did well in arithmetic and some subjects. He always showed disinterest in writing although his writing is good. Now, he doesn’t show much interest in studies, but likes to go to school to play. He is active in sports and games and loves outdoor work. Tell him to study and he gets irritated. Can this be treated. Please advise.  Ans. Yes, such conditions in children are termed ..

Even good people make mistakes

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I am a good student of Class XII. But lately, I do not feel like studying and want to sleep all the time. I get tired easily and worry a lot. I don’t have any bad habits, but there is a girl in my class who is trying to distract me and tries to catchmyattention. She isgood in sports,butaverage in studies. But she cannot be reason for my condition. My parents are worried. Can you help me? I want to score well in exams. Ans.There could be many reasons ..

PUT SOMETHING INTO LIFE & Get Everything You Want

  By T G L IYER: Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative art for a friend who listens to us when we move forward. We want to sit in their radius. When we are listened to, it creates us, and makes us unfold and expand. Active listening is one of the highest forms of giving. Stefen Covey encourages listening with the intent to understand. Through our choice to actively listen, we enhance our awareness, generate more options and provide a foundation on which we can build relationships. ..


 By ANAGHA SAWANT & SHAILENDRA KUMAR SINGH:  Over 160 kids die in less than 2 months due to acute encephalitis syndrome. The sudden spike in cases exposes the lackadaisical approach of primary health centres in addressing the issue and mounts pressure on hospitals For the past FEW weeks the situation at Sri Krishna Medical College and Hospital (SKMCH), which is a well-known hospital in Muzaffarpur, is simmering with tension. It is a hospital where the children from the district ..

Spotlight syndrome

  By RITA AGGARWAL:  Last column on the ‘toppers syndrome’ enjoyed good feedback and today we have another syndrome for you to appreciate. Its about the single child syndrome and I am sure you know what I am going to talk about but do not brush it aside lightly for it is going to attract a lot of attention in the coming decade as more and more parents opt voluntarily for a single child. The demographic necessity of reducing the population to a one-child norm is good ..

Convince your parents

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I feel disturbed madam. One boy in my class stares at me all the time. Till now I ignored him always and my friends mocked him several times. But now, it is bothering me and I am surprised. I don’t even like the boy and in fact hate him for his behaviour. I wanted to report him to our sir, but I did not do so. What should I do? Please help me.  Ans. He is certainly sick and has disturbed you too. He does not seem to be playing games for he was doing ..


 By T G L IYER:  A BRAHAM LINCOLN: used to say: “I do the best I can. I keep going if the end brings out the right thing. What is said against me won’t matter, if I try to do the right thing. If I am wrong nothing will make it right. All the water in the world will not sink my boat if it does not get inside. If I want to succeed I have to strike a new path. Remember, that the kite rises against the wind and therefore don’t be afraid of opposition. Happiness is ..

FROM SMART WATER PUMPS TO DRONES: Technology Is Changing Indian

  By ALOK KIRLOSKAR: Disruptive technologies and innovations in application engineering are fast changing farming practices in India. From preparing the land to sowing, to reaping and mentoring of the crop, everything today can be done with the aid of sophisticated technology driven systems. Irrigation also has become highly evolved with sophisticated fluid management systems that are well suited for meeting the challenges of bringing fresh water to the farmer’s fields, irrespective ..

Desk Workouts That Work

 By DR SATYEN MEHTA: People in all walks of life have realised that exercise play a significant role in their lives. Regular exercise often leads to healthy and longer life. This is one primary reason why young adults, health enthusiasts and people who wish to live healthy life indulge in different forms of exercises. There are some who like working out in the gym, while others may opt for yoga or Zumba. There are other different forms of activities such as swimming, gymnastics, running, ..

Responsibility of both

By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I am married and have a son aged 2.5 years. My wife doesn’t show much interest in intimate activity and I feel starved. The frequency of intimacy is around 1-2 times a week that is only also at my behest. She never initiates on her own. Even during the activity, she doesn't play any active role. I have frequently asked her the reason for her indifference and she says she doesn’t find it interesting. Please guide us in this matter. Ans. This is a not so uncommon ..


 By T G L IYER: In World War-II Sergeant Paratrooper HAROLD RUSSEL lost his hands in an accident during training. Naturally, he was overwhelmed by a sense of failure and defeat! He was terrified at the idea of going through life with steel-hooks instead of real hands. He dreaded leaving the hospital someday and going out among the people again. He did not care much whether he lived or died. Such feelings come to everyone when disaster strikes suddenly and unexpectedly. One day CHARLEY MCGONEGAL ..

Motive, Motivation and Goals

  By RITA AGGARWAL:  ‘Why should I do this? Why should I exert? Why should I study hard? What will I do when I have a good life? What will happen if I become the best? What will I achieve if I become successful?’ One youth is constantly obsessed with the thought -why should I live? Such questions are important to give us the reasons and the purpose for doing something -they give us the motive. A clear motive or motives gives us the clear goals to set in our daily lives and ..

Keep away from callous cads

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I.m deeply in love with a guy who had been pursuing me on and off for last six years. I used to be extremely uncomfortable around him and could barely look at his face and talk. I’m shy, reserved and don’t have any close friends. He understood my traits very well. He kept on sending texts with romantic undertones like how he wants me to take up his responsibilities, move slowly towards the final goal, pestering me to accept my feelings for him first and ..


  Over the past 15 years, as the Living Harmony series has evolved to focus on contemporary concerns, the major trends relevant to values education for young children, the designers contend, would be:  Social trends: * The increasing importance of maintaining religious (communal) harmony and countering intolerance * Increasing awareness of the need to be inclusive (socially, culturally, etc.) and also with the disabled (differently abled) persons Trends in scientific and environmental ..

Set career goals

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I have a celebrity (Model&Serial Star) friend on social media. We talk everyday. He treats me as his close friend not a fan. Suddenly I received a request from his close friend which I accepted. But the new friend started making unjustified demand of Video calls (in objectionable condition). I blocked him. I think my ceelbrity has a hand in all this, though he has never talked dirty but always appreciated my beauty. Should I block him too?  Ans. I have written ..


 By T G L IYER:  It is not by regretting what is impossible that true work is to be done but making the best of what we are. It is not by complaining about what we don’t have, but by using well with what we have. What we are and where we are is God’s doing, though it may be man’s misdoing and the wise way is to utilise disadvantages and convert them in our favour. When the best things are not possible do the second best and it will shine. Greatness of soul consists not ..


 By RITA AGGARWAL:  No, it is not normal for all siblings to suffer from rivalry with each other. Although it may be true that every sibling experiences a pang or too here and there and feels inferior to their other sibling but this does not become a mental health condition worth talking about. The disorder sets in when the situation is not recognised as such by parents and it may escalate into a major concern. Anuj was beginning to lose out on studies and with his falling grades he was ..

SucceSS beginS in the mind and it iS a S tate of mind

 By T G L IYER: Think of your attitude as the mental filler through which you experience the world. Some people see the world through the filler of optimism while others see it with pessimism. The person with the negative attitude thinks I can’t. The person with the positive attitude thinks I can. The person with the negative attitude dwells on problems. The person with the positive attitude thinks of solutions. The person with the negative attitude finds fault with others where as ..

‘Everything I Need To Know I Learned In The Forest’

 By VANDANA SHIVA: Today, we need to overcome the wider and deeper apartheid-an eco-apartheid based on the illusion of separateness of humans from nature in our minds and lives.   M y ecological journey started in the forests of the Himalaya. My father was a forest conservator, and my mother became a farmer after fleeing the tragic partition of India and Pakistan. It is from the Himalayan forests and ecosystems that I learned most of what I know about ecology. The songs and poems ..

Exploring The Realm Of Romance & Travel

  By DR RASHMIN DESHMUKH; Someone has rightly said love is food for life and travel a dessert. Debutant Pratiksha’s feel good fiction Love Wanders The Globe has the thing stamped on almost every page. The story set in the modest city of Nagpur is about Priya and Rohan who enter wedlock through an arranged marriage and share a common passion to travel. The two romantics ardently explore dream destinations around the globe and in the process discover newer facets of their beautiful ..

Online aptitude test available

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. We are quite friendly with our kids. I have left my teaching job few years back for the sake of my daughters and have kept the socialization to minimal level. I don't see any reason behind the lack of focus and motivation. But, I have to keep her redirecting towards the goal. Sometimes she behaves well but often gets irritated. She is not interested in counseling session either. She herself analyses success and failure of others with full wisdom but does not apply them ..

Negotiate with parents your needs

 By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I am a class IX student and I am confused about my career. My parents have high expectations from me. I know I am a good student but lately I don’t feel like studying. I want to make lots of friends and have fun like my classmates are doing. I am not allowed to visit friends and stay at their house at night. My classmates enjoy late night parties and I sit at home and cry. I want to go out for dinners and dances. I love dancing a lot and sing well too. They ..

Talk To yourself and say The righT Things

 By T G L IYER:  M arlon Brando once said of a cinema actor “He seems to be superhuman in his endless struggle to inform himself ”. Such learning means personal growth and making the most of your opportunities. Successful people believe that their education has only just begun when they leave school or university. They continuously learn from their failures as well as successes. They are fanatical in their belief that every experience is a learning opportunity.  It means ..

Changing Farmers’ Lives

   By MOHAMMED SHAFEEQ: A t a time of widespread agricultural distress caused by successive droughts, unremunerative farming and debt-trapped rural economies, a young man with his mobile app is showing how change can be brought in the life of farmers at the grassroot level. In 2016, V Naveen Kumar, who had no personal knowledge of agriculture, was so moved by the suicide of a farmer in a village in his native Warangal district of Telangana that for the next three months he ran around ..


   By MADHUMITA MOOKERJI   Dams are opening up floodgates of ecological imbalance, says river cyclist Samrat Moulik who is on a mission to save the rivers and conserve water. The writer catches up with the man who pedalled from Gangotri to Padma in Bangladesh to raise awareness...   W ater is fast becoming as precious as gold in many regions of the world today due to shortage. Environmentalists warn that unless water is used more sagaciously when there is still time, ..


 By ASIM KAMAL:  The bitterly fought election campaign might have a sting but scorpions in a dargah here don’t - not even when you pick them up. Syed Sharfuddin Shah Wilayat’s dargah in western Uttar Pradesh’s Amroha is where long held beliefsin the power of miracles meet everyday rationality. And where the lines of what you know and what you see sometimes begin to blur. Locals say the dargah (shrine) is the everyday miracle of poisonous scorpions that don’t ..

Only when it is dark enOugh, can yOu see the stars

 By T G L IYER:  Have you ever had a good look at some of the beliefs you collected while growing up? These beliefs have conditioned you to respond to things in a certain way and these responses have led to certain choices. A lot of people are unaware of why they respond to things the way they do and make their choices without thinking. The problem is that these choices may not be the right ones to make to achieve success. Our aim is to achieve results and not retreat backwards in any ..

Mount Everest: Marred with ugly footprints

  Since Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay first summitted Mt Everest in 1953, more than 4,000 mountaineers have reached the highest point on earth. They probably never imagined that the giant they summitted would one day turn into a dumpster. When recreational mountaineering skyrocketed in the 1980s, the ugly side of the business started becoming apparent. Every year, as the spring develops, Everest is swamped with tourists. Tour groups, together with teams of Sherpas, unite to begin ..

Boost Your Mental Flexibility

 By MEGAN COATLEY: When you think about flexibility as “something I do” and not “who I am,” you will start to realise that you can make lasting, positive changes that may open up opportunities for some relaxation, laughter and joy amid the daily grind.  When you first start making room for healthy habits in your busy life, being a stickler can be beneficial - setting a workout schedule, planning your meals in advance, saying no to things that get in the ..

Changing attitudes and norms

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. I recently cleared class 12 exams and preparing for JEE Advance now. What are the courses offered for research in Physics after 12 Std. Actually I am interested in both Physics and Mathematics. So is there a way I can study both of them in the same course? Or would I have to study both of them separately? Can I get this course at IISC Bengaluru or IISER Pune, Kolkata etc. Kindly help me.  Ans. It is good to know that you are interested in pure science and ..


By T G L IYER: Some people as they achieve success in life build their ego and then have an insatiable appetite to feed that ego. It is important for all of us to have an ego but not an ego problem.There is a saying “Bigger the ego,smaller the bank balance”. There is also an Australian saying “Be nice to people on the way up, because you meet the same ones on the way down again”. This is dramatically true as you go through life! Everyone has an amazing high and low a..

The virTues of PaTience

By RITA AGGARWAL:    In the din of the large open style office hall, a man was pouring over a sheet of papers for long hours, silently, quietly doing his work unperturbed by the noise even during the tea break. As a new comer to this office he stood out starkly asIwatched him closely for a week. He maintained the same demeanour on work and was actually quite friendly when approached. I thought he would be a loner and a recluse but far from it. I could not help satisfyin..

Suicidal ideation has to be taken seriously

  By RITA AGGARWAL: Q. My child stammers a little. We have consulted the doctors and they say he is fine. Can this be cured? Does psychology help? Please guide.  Ans. Stammering has strong psychological components. If all is fine medically and doctors have said he is fine then it has to be psychological in nature. We can assess the situation and then treat him too. You must bring him once at least to understand the problem and then to suggest remedies. Emotional disturbances can ..

Water Crisis: A Nemesis

  By ASIT BHAGAT: We all recognise that fast growing Cities need a sustainable supply of usable water. However with global water resources remaining constant but its quality and its management deteriorating, water is mankind’s nemesis.  The sight of women carrying pots to fetch water from far away distances becomes common, especially in the countryside, during summer. Miles have to be walked to fetch water as all possible sources in the neighborhood go dry or the government ..

The purpose of life is To do someThing original

   By T G L IYER:  W e seek to avoid failure at all costs. In doing so, we miss valuable life lessons. We are exposed to approval and failure early in life. We seek our parent’s approval and thereafter the teacher’s approval and thereafter the Boss’s approval and so on. It only means that we seek the approval of everyone and rarely our own approval. The interpretation that failure is painful and approval is divine is our usual interpretation. Remember, ..