In Jest

‘Civil’isation: Work in progress

SINGING out loudly, trying to keep in sync with the radio singer, I turned right from Lokmat Chowk. Just as I turned, the traffic light turned yellow. I increased the speed, and then braked hard. Right in front was a yellow board that must have come up during night, stating in bold letter, ‘DIVERSION’. By this time, traffic from the opposite side had started flowing, vehicles behind me formed a queue and soon the situation turned chaotic. I was struggling to maneuver my way into a constant flow of ..

The privileged 0.01%

O NE chore that is lined up for each Sunday, my off day, is stocking up the weekly grocery, vegetables and fruits. Soa trip to the grocery store or a supermarket in the vicinity is mandatory. I love walking through the aisles, browsing through the various shelves. Every week new products are added, and this gives me an opportunity to pass time, which I have in surplus. Reading the labels, scanning their QR codes is pure fun. It was during one such trip to the supermarket when I was scanning around ..

Cash Is King....Or So I thought

T HE other day, a group of transgender people arrived at our home, clapping in perfect rhythm and announcing - before we could even process the news - that we had officially graduated to grandparenthood. How they knew remains one of life’s great mysteries, because the baby was born in Chicago, not Nagpur. But clearly, information today travels faster than light, visas and common sense. They demanded money. Not sweets. Money. For the blessings that they were showering virtually on the tiny tot, nestled ..

Battle with the leftovers

I T’S BECOME a habit - as soon as I enter the kitchen, I open the fridge door - after all the grahini of the house has to start preparations for the day. And this starts by checking what’s in the refrigerator. As I trudged, half awake, and opened the fridge door, I thoughtIheardavoice.“Rememberme, IamPaneerMakhani - trapped in this box four days ago.” Jolted awake,Ishook my head and peered inside. I heard more voices - was it real or just my imagination? The bowl of Rajma hummed mourninfully, trying ..

Who let the leopard in?

We all are aware that the planet is suffering. But man, ingenious man, is always striving to make life more bearable for the living beings. Haven’t we managed to so spectacularly manage and control pollution, traffic, population, and of course corruption? There’s a hitch here though. All this is only on paper. Reality speaks a different language. Recently, after weeks of debates and discussions on one grave issue dogging mankind, it seems the time has finally arrived for us to negotiate with Nature. ..

Cross my Heart & Hope to Lie

It is 7 am. The phone rings - even before the first ring is over, I have already snatched it up. It is, after all, my bestie calling me, and I know for sure she wouldn’t have called me so early, if she didn’t have something juicy to share. There’s this particular tremor I detect in my friend’s voice when she says, “Listen, I have a secret. But you must promise you won’t tell anyone.” It’s not a casual request. It’s delivered in a tone usually reserved for courtroom judges or cricket commentators announcing ..

The Grandma Trap

Not so long ago, I dreaded visiting certain friends and relatives. No, it wasn’t because after asking umpteen times, “What will you have?”, they served watery tea, and were stingy with snacks, but because they were grandparents. And I knew the moment I would plonk on their sofa, I was snared - in The Album Trap. Well, all of you know the kind I am referring to here - the minute you settle down, and after the pleasantries are over, out comes The Album, or these days it is the phone or the iPad. And ..

Death-defying dash

“Organised chaos,” Oprah Winfrey’s comment on Indian roads has stayed with me ever since she uttered it. Like her, and like many other visitors who travel to our great country, like the million citizens who travel on Indian roads daily, including me, we find it difficult to decipher our traffic, the purpose of our traffic rules as well as functioning of the authorities who are supposed to regulate and keep an eye on the ever burgeoning traffic. I have travelled in buses while in school and college, ..

Bovine blues!!

By Aasawari Shenolikar : I F I am asked to list two things that I love doing, without batting an eyelid I will say, swimming and walking. A true-blue Aquarian, I simply love the water, and whenever I get a chance, I will slip into any body of w..

BreakneckBreaks!!

By Aasawari Shenolikar : L ATELY I have experienced that every six months or so, I start craving for a break from routine. At home, in the office, my mind starts wandering and I hear whispers, “Time for a break, time for a vacation.”..

Mystery of the missing millions

By Aasawari Shenolikar : “DID you pick up the Rs 100 note on the dining table? This was payment for the newspaper vendor,” I asked in hushed tones. It was addressed to my better half, known for his uncanny ability to clean an..

Buzz(zzz) kill

INSOMNIA - that’s what afflicts me.Very rarely, my eyes droop heavily, and I instantly enter into the world of dreamland. It’s a consistent battle every night where just as my eyes begin to close, some hormone, otherwise non-existent, suddenly kicks in, and the next moment I am wide awake. Adding to my woes are the tiny terrors of the night - the mosquitoes. If anyone asks me to list nature’s most persistent and annoying creatures - these winged vampires would occupy the top slot.I can take head on ..

Ceaseless Cacophony

T HE apartment on the 37th floor is not soundproof. However, at that height, one would assume that silence would be paramount. But in reality, itis not so - the quiet is often disturbed by the strident notes of the fire trucks, the urgent sirens of an ambulance following the fire truck, the piercing alarms of the police cars, probably chasing an offender on the roads or a part of the entourage of the fire truck. The cacophonous notes, wafting across to the upper floors, often break thequietude,disturbing ..

Dr Google Paging

Since the time Internet has made inroads into my life,the one thing that I have learnt is that if you Google something, Google will instantly help youout with almost any query under the Sun.On second thoughts, let’s delete that ‘almost’ and stick to ‘every question, query, doubt’. Google, over a period of time, has turned everyone into a genius. Because Google helps me out at the drop of a hat, it is but natural that I call Google my BFF...

Fault in ‘their stars’

It wasn’t too long ago that the social media was flooded with pictures of the ‘very coy’, lovey-dovey couple - Malaika Arora and Arjun Kapoor - flaunting their undying love for each other. Once they made the affair public, for the next six years, the poor public was subjected to ‘the way they inhaled and exhaled, what they ate, how they fed each other, the vacations they spent, the way they held hands’ - it was as if they were the only couple in the world that defined and redefined ‘love’. And then ..

Pills, Plates, And Prohibition

EVERY morning, at an unearthly hour of 4.30 am, the alarm rings - twice in succession. One signals,‘Rise & Shine’, and the other is a reminder of popping a pill - first of the many that I ingest throughout the day. Even before I brush my teeth, I gulp the tiny pill - to keep my thyroid in check. It’s supposed to be taken on an empty stomach for it to have an effect on the non-functional gland in my body. As the day goes by, the medicinal buffet comes into play - a colourful array of pills are arranged ..